THE MOVING BLUES

Since all of my free time has recently been spent on moving to a new apartment, I decided to dedicate this blog to just that.  The spring smell is in the air, and new beginnings are blooming.  Movies revolved around moving attempt an assortment of approaches with the hopes of scaring you, making you laugh, or planting a seed of paranoia in your mind.

House is a cheesy eighties horror movie.  Although it never succeeds at giving you chills, it is sentimental to me because I grew up watching it.  A recently divorced guy inherits his aunt's house after her suicide.  As he settles in, he is tormented by disturbing hauntings from his past.  The optimum scene is when a pretty neighbor transforms into a pudgy, whiny monster.  This film will scare even YOU out of the closet.

The Amityville Horror movie originated in 1979 and was modernized in 2005.  The allegedly true story is based on a family moving into a house that holds a traumatic future for them.  Similar to The Shining, the father becomes a slave to evil under his own roof.  As always, it's not an enjoyable ride for the surrounding family members.

On the brighter side of things, 1988 delighted us with a comedic approach to this topic.  Moving stars Richard Pryor and Randy Quaid.  Quaid plays a crazed neighbor whose heckling drives Pryor and his family out of the neighborhood.  Aside from the obvious torture, Pryor also must jump over the obstacles left by his kids, the movers, and the previous home owners of his new, hollow house.  This is one of those DVDs that makes you say "we're taking it with us!"

DrUgGiE mOvIeS

Drug use can be seen in an infinite amount of movies, but only some surround their plots around them.  These types of movies are scattered in different genres.  Some keep you laughing, while others drain your serotonin and disturb your mood with their depressing story lines.

Weed infested films tend to float around with a comedic feel.  How High, Dazed and Confused, Super Troopers, and Half Baked are all burning with laughs, however, I am intrigued to discuss films with more of a raw and realistic feel.  Those few films that have the capability of squeezing your spine while your eyes are exposed to such horrific living situations.  The type of films where characters are eaten alive by heroin and cocaine addictions.

These stories literally make all of my problems seem a little better.  After all, I can't remember the last time I contemplated selling my things, or body for that matter, in order to pay my school loans.  Nor can I recall stealing from loved ones to pay for sudden car repairs.

Just saying Requiem for a Dream out loud creates a discomforting feeling in my stomach.  My first viewing of this movie left me in a depressed state because of its authentic peak into a drug swarmed reality.  The beginning of the film pumps you up for a wicked come down in the end.  This heart wrenching story makes my ears throb with endless teeth grinding.  One viewing of this will inject your soul with a lifetime of vexation.


Gia is one of my favorite movies in the world.  This is based on the true life and tragedy of the supermodel Gia Marie Carangie.  Angelina Jolie is an incredible replica of Gia, and I don't know a single person who would dispute that.  You find yourself in love with a woman you do not personally know, and therefore grow heartbroken when you see a wonderful life deteriorate from heroin abuse.  Unlike most films like this, Gia is seen as a victim rather than a drug addict.  The downward spiral immediately becomes apparent, but it's just too late to throw out that helping hand.

Along with these two films, Spun, The Basketball Diaries, and Wonderland stand above all when looking for a movie in this genre.  All these movies differ in their story telling approach, however, they all effectively execute the point.  Before you attempt to snort these movie concepts, remember they are an acquired taste.

  

HOT SEX SCENES

Sex sells.  This is has been implanted in my mind since my very first communications class at community college.  This blog title (and picture!) will probably double my views.  Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, movie sex seduces and grabs the attention of a wide audience and sky rockets its ratings.

Having a "love scene" was required in my final screenplay for one of my classes.  Even though we were not obligated to describe a dirty, X-rated scene, we still had to  emphasize or imply sex was going to take place in the story.  I did not really understand this rule at the time, however, today I do.  Sex is as relevant as action, dialogue, and the movie plot itself.  Even G-rated movies like Shrek include a love story with affectionate scenes such as kissing.  Name a movie that excludes sex and/or any "love scenes" of the sort, depending on its rating.  Good luck!  Even Pretty Woman's entire storyline revolves around sex without spilling a drop of dirt on the ground:)

If you are a fan of HBO's Sex and the City and have ever watched a rerun on TBS,  you understand the throbbing pain that comes with having an unsatisfied craving.  I can get over the verbal "fucks" being transposed into "hells" and "screws", but I just can't swallow the sex scenes being edited out!  Sometimes I don't even know why some channels bother to air movies and shows with such restriction.  They rape R-rated stories of their virtue to the point where it's practically mutated into a different chronicle. Fail!

Anyhoo, I would like to dedicate this time to movies with outrageously honorable and sexy scenes.  Wild Things, even with Matt Dillon in the way, provides a few wonderful moments for the viewer.  Boogie Nights would not be a movie without all its classic scenes that explode and violate  the viewer (in a good way!) about every thirty seconds throughout the entire story.  Also, Basic Instinct would not be the popular prototype it is without Sharon Stone pulling a "Britney Spears" with her twat shot.

Gia, Eyes Wide Shut, Cruel Intentions, Unfaithful, Inventing the Abbotts, Spun, New Best Friend, Body Double, Risky Business, and Cruel Intentions are all noteworthy choices when you're hungry for this type of stimulation.   Did I neglect to give your favorite steamy movie an honorable mention?  Please enlighten me via the comment box below...

FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

2009
Director:  Marcus Nispel
Screenwriters:  Damian Shannon and Mark Swift
Story Writers:  Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, and Mark Wheaton
Starring:  Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, and Derek Mears


(Original Movie Director:  Sean S. Cunningham
Original Writers:  Victor Mill and Ron Kurz)


All of my DVD's are packed up in boxes, so for the next couple weeks I will have to rely on taking chances with free movies on On Demand.  Hopefully I get lucky and choose some good ones in the future, because tonight I put on something so terrible I just had to end the torture.  To avoid further disappointment tonight, I put on the remake of Friday the 13th.  I watched this once when it first came out and I don't recall being wowed by it, but do remember it being scary.

Out of these types of classic horror films, this was probably my least favorite because it was the most unrealistic.  Even Nightmare On Elm Street was influenced by a true horror.  I believe it was a while ago in Japan, where dead students were found after complaining about something disturbing them while they slept.  They were so petrified that they resorted to hiding coffee machines in their closets in order to stay awake.  Knock on wood, but I don't really know of any true stories where a child dies and comes back from the dead as an enormous, masked maniac.

I did enjoy the opening scene of a reenactment from the original.  I appreciate how the story meshes the traditional rules with modernized originality, although I wish they used the original theme music more.  My favorite scene is the first kill.  One of the victims stumbles across the marijuana plants the group is planning on taking.  As he is indulging in their orgasmic scent, Jason appears.  I remember jumping in the movie theater.  I was so distracted, I completely forgot it was a horror movie for a second!  I kind of dig the "long intro" during the first fifteen minutes, although I was not fond of it the first time I watched it.

I also totally dig the death scenes with the boat.  I thought the arrows were a tricky and suspenseful way to deliver death.  I also thought the boat running the girl over was a cool effect to shoot into the mix, but the boobie shot there really made me chuckle.  You especially see this "rating trick" in most horror movies.  There are always boobs that just pop out with irrelevance to the story.  Even the original Halloween has a classic breast shot.  This is usually something the creators do not only to attract and satisfy viewers of the sexual desires, but also to kick their rating up a notch.  It's a good way to guarantee an R-rating.

All you can really expect and hope for with recently made horror movies is that they scare the shit out of you while being careful not to overindulge in the use of blood to the extent of it screaming fabrication.  It's rather unlikely you find a scary movie that intertwines the gore and violence with strong character backgrounds and a suspenseful and twisted story line.  Typically you get one or the other.  One of my goals in life is to pull a Tarantino by creating a new generation of film for the horror genre.

OPEN HOUSE

2010

Writer and Director:  Andrew Paquin

Starring:  Brian Geraghty, Rachel Blanchard, and Anna Paquin (although Anna is in it for ten seconds, and that includes the three seconds wasted on showing her dead body.)


I found this movie on On Demand today for free!  I decided to watch it because I was already intrigued when I saw it in a store.  Due to its overpricing and unlikely chance of even being worth the twenty-dollars, I did not purchase it.  I must admit today the advertising won me over as well.  Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are shown on the cover, leading one to assume they hold a relevant role in the story.  WRONG!

Overall, this movie is terrible and I am going to spoil everything about it in the hopes of saving you time and money.  Stephen Moyer's character is also introduced right before he is stabbed in the neck, during climax may I add.  It was weird to see him without bloody fangs in the sunlight.  His sex partner and killer, along with her socially awkward brother, break into an occupied, open house and go on a killing spree.  As they are slashing every person who walks through the front door, the brother is secretly keeping the owner of the house hostage.

Yeah, it's weird.  He and his sister have that incest flirtation going on that I can never grasp the concept of.  They never really establish what their malfunction is or why they enjoy going Texas Chainsaw Massacre in random open houses.  Above all, the film lacks character development, and therefore prevents the viewer from growing emotionally attracted to the characters.  Honestly, the only thing I looked forward to while watching this was the credits so I knew who to blame for this mess.

So after a few murderous rampages and an eye stabbing, the brother and sister are the only survivors.  It ends with them checking out a new open house, which the viewer thankfully gets to assume instead of watching, the same thing happens again.  If you want blood, your attention will be better spent on watching something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Saw, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, or even Cabin Fever.  Ugh..NEXT!

TV SHOWS

My anticipation for the third season of Nurse Jackie has influenced this blog.  I cannot express my excitement enough.  Oh how I long to chuckle over the problems the infamous, pill popping, juggling, needle pricking Nurse Jackie deals with on a daily basis.  She does have one friend who she introduced to about half of her closet skeletons.  Dr. O'Harah, the same woman whose high-heel tapping launches my mind into perversion.

If you are unfamiliar with the show, I advise you start indulging immediately!  It is a television show that allows just about every emotion to explode in each episode.  If you are not laughing at Jackie's dry humor, Chloe's innocent struggle for Jackie's affection, or O'Harah's pompous lip, you are concerned about her daughter, embarrassed for her husband, smiling when sweet revenge is served to those deserving it, or clenching tears back as another life drifts away in the All Saints' Hospital emergency room.  It's contents are volcanic and more than fulfilling.

My thirst for a compelling television show is typically quenched from HBO and Showtime series.  I hold the film crews responsible for these creations and visualizations on a high pedestal.  Some of them are just mind-blowing and fascinating to think how such ideas can be mastered on screen.  Ever since I was a little girl, I told myself I was going to write something for HBO.  Currently, my attention is caught up on Showtime's Shameless, however, the completion of this season will shortly be replaced with Nurse Jackie and The United States of Tara.

My heart truly looks forward to the future seasons of shows such as Dexter, True Blood and Weeds.  I cannot help feeling connected to some of the characters in movies and television shows.  Losing television characters make my heart ache even more because I feel like I've known them for all the years the show has aired, as opposed to characters in a two-hour movie.  With this said, I cannot possibly describe in words how much I miss my buddies from OZ, Sex and the City, Rome, and The L Word.  


By the overbearing and sudden burst of Dexter memorabilia in my possession, one would assume my favorite show is just that.  I am sorry to inform you that my #1 spot will always and forever be a home only for HBO's OZ.


Also...Season 3 of Showtime's Nurse Jackie begins on Monday, March 28th at 10pm!

CHLOE

2009

Director:  Atom Egoyan

Writers:  Erin Cressida Wilson and Anne Fontaine

Starring:  Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried, and Liam Neeson

I was craving a movie today when Chloe crossed my mind.  A friend had lent it to me months ago, and I didn't know much about it.  Ironically, this film would have been another pertinent illustration in my "Psychotic Significant Others" blog.

It did differ from the rest, as they usually should at least attempt to stand out in such a large crowd of similar movies.  It started off with a slight boom, but I am not even considering the opening scene that revealed Amanda Seyfried's breast.  This was a G-rated foreshadowing for what was about to explode out of this R-rated story.  I am still shaking my head in disbelief at one particular scene.  Hmm, awkward...

Although I do appreciate the different approach in the storytelling of this typical movie evolved around a couple being taunted with adultery, I didn't really enjoy the drawn out story line, especially when it was speckled with intense conversations that overstayed their welcome.  It did not hold an ounce of suspense, nor thrill, yet I must admit it did make me question each main characters' words.  The twisted ending was a nice "cherry on top" tasting conclusion.  This was enough to earn admittance into my public thoughts, however, I would recommend other films in the genre before this one :/

PSYCHOTIC SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

Such an exciting topic...in real life and on screen.  I like to imagine how some people I know would react to extreme situations that can partake in a relationship.  Everybody knows at least one kooky and crazed relationship slave, who is perfectly capable of "snapping" and landing themselves in a Court TV episode.  There is a never ending pyramid of movies that all share plots interfered with crimes of passion.

A Perfect Murder, Sid and Nancy, Unfaithful, Fatal Attraction, Obsessed, and Swim Fan are just a few noteworthy flicks off the top of my head.  Although all are worthy of at least one screening, A Perfect Murder and Sid and Nancy are a must.

Michael Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow star in this twisted thriller that goes by the name of A Perfect Murder.  The sex, money, murder, and shock fulfill your quench for drama throughout the whole story.  The shit hits the fan when a perfect plan is stabbed with an exorbitant flaw.  The unexpected happens, and then it happens again and again.  I must admit, I do find myself "rooting for the bad guy" in this film due to my lack of sympathy for any cheater, cheater, penis eater.

Sid and Nancy is a special movie because it's based on the true story of The Sex Pistols Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen.  Gary Oldman and Courtney Love (yes, the crazy, rocker chick from Hole) methodically portray the doped up love birds.  As demented and pathetic as their relationship was, I somehow became engaged and grew an infatuation for their love.  I'm unsure if I'm more attracted to their innocence or their recklessness, but I definitely do heart them:)

Crimes of passion emerge from the screen and manipulate the lives of many people who were once considered role models.  Aside from Sid and Nancy, the relationships between O.J. Simpson and Nicole White, Scott and Laci Peterson, and Paul Snider and Dorothy Stratten were also overheated and bombarded with bloody romance.  These types of stories always create a shocking disturbance in our eyes, but can we really assure ourselves that we are not capable of releasing such passionate rage?

Whether the psychotic significant others react with murder, suicide, or both, we will continue to be intrigued, only to be scarred, by these fictitious and factual events.  Whatever you do, choose your weapon carefully because your story could be converted into the next ninety-minute soap opera for the would to criticize.

GO

1999
Director:  Doug Liman
Writer:  John August
Starring:  Sarah Polley, Timothy Olyphant, Scott Wolf, and Katie Holmes
(Also has Taye Diggs, Breckin Meyer, and Jay Mohr!)

RONA:  "SHOW ME YOUR TITS."

A movie this reckless and mind-blowing should be more reputable.  I feel like this is one of those born-to-be notable films that got ripped off by their lack of advertising.  It definitely has potential to be classified in a popular, distinguished category.  With this said, I'm advertising it for free here because it truly inspires my ideas for screenwriting.  Watch it!

I remember seeing this movie in theaters with my cousin and Pop-Pop.  I was fourteen years-old, and probably was the reason why adults shot my Pop awkward glares for tagging along a young teen to a well deserved R-rated movie.  Little did they know, violence, sex, drugs, blood, and cursing exposed and tainted my eyes and ears a long time ago.

Even before seeing this in the theater, I remember visiting a Tower Records in Philly where I picked up postcards for free.  I got American Pie, Stir Of Echoes, and Go.  All three of these movies were unreleased and unheard of at the time, but how could I resist free movie memorabilia?  All three postcards still hold a place in collage infested bedroom.  

This flick is unique because it has a few different, yet intersecting story lines.  There are quite a few different characters, and each and every one takes the viewer on a rapturous journey.  The editing is noteworthy because the overlapping stories never force us to watch the same scene over again, like some of these kinds of movies do.  Instead, we see the same night replayed through completely different eyes each time.  This makes you speed through the euphoric hundred minutes without wanting to blink.  As the film goes on, the music beats faster and the characters' scenarios intensify.

The soundtrack spinning in the background pumps you up and accents the action packed roller-coaster ride.  No Doubt, Fat Boy Slim, Lenny Kravitz, Eagle Eye Cherry, and Steppenwolf decorate the playlist and inject the perfect touch to make the whole package legendary.  This is definitely a must-see.  Why would you want to miss out on the boob bouncing, pill popping, money making, primitive party anyway?  

MARY X-MAS!

HOW HIGH

2001
Director:  Jesse Dylan
Writer:  Dustin Abraham
Starring:  Method Man and Redman

"How did I fail Women's Studies? I love bitches!"  Obviously this is no Oscar Nominee, but it sure as hell is worth watching.  Super Troopers and Half Baked are like skunk weed compared to this "Purple Haze."  (Pineapple Express was one of the worst movies ever, and therefore I refuse to insult these other films by including it my comparison.)  If you are looking for this specific type of comedy, this is your flick.

"Got blunt?"
"Got weed?"  This is how the two main characters meet.  Enough said!  Oh, and they have this special weed that allows a deceased friend to become visible to only those coughing on the super powers of the "Ivory" marijuana.  This lands them into Harvard, where they expose the university to sex, drugs, and rap music.

It's a sweet trip through a quixotic world.  Some of us can relate to certain situations that come about in this little adventure.  You know what I'm talking about, pot heads!

A BRONX TALE

1993
Director:  Robert De Niro
Writer:  Chazz Palminterri
Starring:  Robert De Niro and Chazz Palminterri

Just watch it!  Oh, you've seen it already?  "Fuck you, pay me"...I mean watch it again!  I am fascinated how mafia movies make the viewer love the bad guys.  Henry Hill states something about Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas.  Henry's voiceover informs us "Jimmy was the type of guy who rooted for the bad guys in movies."  This is exactly what Scorsese and Pileggi did to us with Goodfellas, and De Niro and Palminterri with A Bronx Tale.  They make us love the bad guys.  I'm not judging, nor blaming anyone because I am definitely proud to admit I am one of the millions of victims who apparently root for the bad guys in movies.  

This story revolves around a young man, who as a boy got himself involved with the mafia without even knowing it.  The boy, C, constantly juggles two "families", a racially segregated neighborhood, and friends exploding with detrimental influence.  It differs from other mob movies because it also focuses on a respected and feared mob boss' sensitive side.  Aside from a few well-deserved outbreaks, Sonny can be described as a loving and compassionate guardian angel for C.  Pretty much, C grows and develops into young man while his father and Sonny butt heads.  Plus there are spurts of much desired, bloody violence!

Speaking of bloody violence, the best scene consists of bikers being thrown and Harley Davidsons turned into dominos.  Needless to say, these mobsters don't just wash your mouth out with soap for misbehaving.  My other favorite scene is C putting his date to the test.  Remember ladies, this is for real and I use this constantly on my girlfriend and friends.

On a side note, I genuinely encourage the viewing of this film, beings how I declined spoiling anything.  Please beware, this DVD is pretty difficult to find considering it is out of print.  Unfortunately, it is not available at Blockbuster, Best Buy, Movie Stop, or Wal Mart.  You must rely on yard sales, Ebay, and any cool friend who already owns a copy.  By good luck, my friends shall not fear.  My mother recently found me a copy! XO

TOSH.O AND THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE

Tosh.0	Tuesdays 10pm / 9c
Spoiler Alert - Human Centipede - Uncut
tosh.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

WARNING:  You will never look at the letter 'B' the same way again after viewing this video :)

First and foremost, I must announce that this movie was suggested by a friend of mine, but little did this young fellow know, I already watched this spoiler video.  I assure you this is the best twenty-five minute investment you could ever ask for!  I admit I did not watch the actual movie, however, after viewing this video, I am more than satisfied on the topic.  I will try my best not to spoil this spoiler, but I can't resist discussing a few things about it.

If you are unfamiliar with this movie, please scroll up and examine the movie title screen behind Tosh until you find Waldo.  Waldo being the silhouette of three people sewn ass-to-mouth.  Before you stop reading, at least know this.  I heard the director of this film is not as demented as one would naturally assume.  I've actually heard this idea originated from his drunken conversations on appropriate punishment for child molesters.  Not such a bad idea now huh?

As twisted as this idea is, it does sadden me to think how realistic this horror can be.  It is quite possible, especially in this day and age that some psychotic looney could attempt this human transformation on three random victims.  Technically, this idea is quite possible, especially when compared to other horror and sci-fi films.  In my opinion, the chances of this happening to you are probably greater than aliens landing on Earth, being struck by lightning, being attacked by a vampire and saved by a werewolf, and sinking in a Titanic sized ship.  I never realized how many other things I would prefer happening to me before this.

Tosh is brilliantly hysterical.  I literally peed my pants the first time I watched this, and as a result am now a fan of him and his show.  Whatever you do, always remember, "Rohypnol, rape drug" thumbs up!

OH SHIT!

  

CHARACTER INTRO SCENES

This is one of my favorite things to daydream about. What would my character intro scene look like? More importantly, what song will be playing at that time?  Did you ever ponder these possibilities? Let's talk about some classic character intros. 

One of my favorites must be credited to Robert De Niro in Goodfellas. If you recall correctly, young Henry is working at the bar closer to the beginning of the movie when his narration informs us of his first time meeting Jimmy Conway.  The Cadillacs' "Speedo" fills our ears while Jimmy Conway walks in. His wardrobe screams mafia money and his first action is sliding $50 and $100 bills in the pockets of employees.  His intro is amazing.  I give props to Scorsese because he left the audience with no choice but to love Jimmy Conway.

Another favorite intro of mine is from Boogie Nights.  Burt Reynolds plays the infamous Jack Horner, a pornography director in the film. He is the head honcho and needs a badass intro to prepare the viewers for the rest of the rocking film!  The camera cuts to Jack walking in the bar as he attracts attention from every direction. His classy self sits at a table when he notices Dirk Diggler for the first time. I think this scene is priceless because we witness his control, charm, direction, and keen eye for developing talent.  If you have seen Boogie Nights, then you will agree with me when I say Jackie Boy is the gem of the film.    

One of the visions I have for myself is more like Sylvester Stallone's first appearance in Cobra.  He speeds into the frame in his Porche.  As his tires screech to a stop, his door opens only to reveal a black boot stepping onto the ground.  As his identity grows apparent, the audience must admit they wouldn't pick this guy out of a crowd to fuck with.  

My intro would definitely be similar with some slow motion thrown in the mix with a Guns n Roses or Motley Crue song blasting out the windows of a shiny, yellow corvette.  My shoes would also be way more colorful than Stallone's black, intimidating boots.  I suppose it would be more rock star than badass:)

FILM FIGHTS

http://www.filmfights.com/


What's this site all about? from justin johnson on Vimeo.


So I have two hours to spare and nobody to talk to. I'm waiting for my brakes to be repaired, which includes getting rid of the poor person squeak that attracts oh so much attention while driving. Shit, I thought rocking out to my iPod was an attention grabber, but the squeak sure put my moves to shame.

I feel there is no better way than to spend the next couple hours talking about Film Fights! Film fights is a web site that holds short film competitions. Each month or so they create eccentric topics and few guidelines. I want to do this!

Every so often I check out the winners and somehow ALWAYS smile when I see the proof that my idea is way better than the winners'!  So yeah, I want to do this and I need your help!  I need actors and actresses who are willing to work for me for free! The good side is it's an awesome, ass kicking time, and not to mention, you will be under my direction. You're already winning!

Right now, no contest category really catches my wandering eye, but shortly I will find one. I will keep you updated on what types of people I need in front of the camera.  So check out the site and let me know who's down!

THE RESIDENT

2011

Director:  Antti Jokinen
Writers:  Antti Jokinen and Robert Orr
Starring:  Hilary Swank








I would like to dedicate this blog to On Demand for being a rockstar and a shitty drug at the same time.  I ordered this movie today (legally!) while it is currently playing in theaters.  Awesome!  Watching a new movie while smoking a cigarette on the couch.  I'm not sure how I can even think about ordering a movie that I have to pay for without the luxury of receiving a personal copy, when I have hundreds of unopened DVDs to choose from.  Thanks to On Demand being a lazy person's wet dream, this movie cost me $6.99 today.

The timing of this movie is what really convinced me it was worth the money and ninety minutes.  I am currently in the process of moving, which has forced me to obsess over the fear of having to trust someone new with a key to my home.  I also made a friend of mine (who is just about to move out on her own, may I add) sit in on the viewing of The Resident.  Let's just say this creepy mess was not financially satisfying, yet is effective awareness for young women.

Long story short, Hilary Swank moves in to a new apartment by herself after a recent divorce.  While still talking to her ex, she casually flirts with her handsome, yet creepy landlord.  She slowly grows suspicious of the obvious corruptness going down under her roof.  She invests in cameras, only to discover how perverted her new landlord is.

Although predictable, this film actually contained a few good points.  First, I
was impressed how the story revealed the landlord was indeed the culprit who was watching our main character.  The film rewound and reran a few familiar scenes, but this time from the intruder's perspective.  It revealed how his obsession with her began all the way up to him presently watching her in the bath tub.  Pretty cool and original.  I also like how the physical aspect of rape was visually hidden from the viewer, yet its presence was clear.

It also used other chilling methods to create the hidden, freakish side of the landlord.  This dude would spike her wine and suck on her fingers while she was passed out.  It was chilling to witness such oddness.  Almost disturbingly violating.  There was also a montage that included him brushing his teeth with her toothbrush and jerking off in her bath tub.  It makes me want cameras in the place I call my home.

My advice for everyone is to save your seven dollars, and instead of buying this movie with it, put it towards a new, shiny knife to keep near your pillow.  I also advise collecting sharp objects and planting them around your home for protection!  Well, that's just me;)


***If you are dying to hear my thoughts on a particular movie, feel free to contact me at TRWrysec@gmail.com.  If I haven't seen it already, I assure you I will at least put it at the top of my list.  Thanks!

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

2002
Director:  Andy Tennant
Story Writer:  Douglas J. Eboch
Screenwriter:  C. Jay Cox







Look at all these men creating and directing a chic flick.  It's irony delivered on a silver plate to those who would easily assume only a lady could perfect such a love story.  This was a comforting thought to learn right before publicly admitting my love for some movies that float in a maidenly genre.  Sweet Home Alabama is definitely one of them.  I guess I can't escape the estrogen after all.

I definitely have this soundtrack and have been rocking out to a few songs ever since I bought it years ago.   My favorite is The Calling's "Keep Your Hands To Yourself",  and Jewel's version of "Sweet Home Alabama" jingles nicely on a warm, sunny day.  Even though they are not included in the soundtrack, No Doubt contributes "Hella Good" to the rocking intro of Andrew, Patrick Dempsey's character.

This movie follows a traditional and familiar fairy tale.  There are so many other love stories that stream the same message, yet so many people tell me they can watch this one over and over.  Here on Earth, The Notebook, Titanic and Dirty Dancing, along with an endless list of others, all stream the same love message.  It's the type of fight where money gets in the way of the heart.  The contents of the match typically contain the old and poor, yet loving boy battling the rich, charming guy.  Although the winner alternates from movie to movie, you can usually tell who the winning lady will choose to hold her arm within the first fifteen minutes.


How does Josh Lucas' character, Jake, win us over?  His hardworking ethic and loyalty to Reese Witherspoon's character sure helps him shine over Andrew and his mother controlled world.  For some, it could be Jake's dimples, but I think the rest of us are truly inspired through his genuine love.  Reese's eyes do light up like blue, sparkling gems when Jake answers her question about marriage with "so I can kiss you anytime I want."  Cute, but if you ask me, no chick flick has the same effect on me like Overboard.

This love story reminds us that no matter what you think, money can't buy all your battles, you silly fools.  Oh and also, "you can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean."

WHY DO I BUY SO MANY DVDS?!

I get asked this question quite often.  I guess it's for the same reason that justifies people spending their money on excess clothes, books, gambling, alcohol, yarn, etc.  Name your poison because we all have at least ONE thing that just tickles your tummy every time you buy it.  Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a distorted version of Hugh Hefner in my classy, mismatched pajamas and just stare at all my little DVD boxes.  I run my fingers across them while wearing a creepy smile on my face, just as a fat kid would do with an unopened candy bar.  Hugh and I just collect different things, but ultimately, we both feel that priceless feeling of hope when we can spend a few minutes just admiring our dirty, little obsessions.

You learn a lot from yourself and what you really like when you have to limit your routine to afford daily necessities in life.  I have naturally sacrificed clothes shopping, dining out, bar tabs, and everything else a twenty-something year-old would love to spend their paychecks on just so I can pay rent.  The little money that is left over after spoiling my loved ones is spent on increasing my DVD towers.  I guess we all must grow accustomed to prioritizing, but you know as well as I do that we all have a dark craving to feed.  I'm thankful that mine is a movie collection and not a far more dangerous and expensive addiction.  I mean, what the hell, I already invested thousands of dollars into a university to further my knowledge and experience in the film industry.  I'm proud I am still clearly ambitious and motivated just as I was when I began pursuing this field.  I am already ahead of the game, or at least this is what helps me sleep at night.  

A side note to Blu Ray DVDs..Please stop taking over!  I really enjoy the freedom of having thousands of movies and television series to choose from.  If you keep this up and DVDs are demolished off Earth, I'm going to be forced to make my super-duper technologically advanced girlfriend brew up an easy way for me to copy ALL of my DVDs on to Blu Ray DVDs.  She won't be happy.  Plus,  my collection is far too old and developed that it would be pointless to rely on the possibility that every movie from the past would be available and for sale on Blu Ray.  I'm still waiting for some old time movies to be released on DVD, cough cough, The Legend Of Billie Jean!  So Sony, Panasonic, Philips, please keep making DVD players.  Thanks! XO