Tuesday, November 12, 2013

CHAINED

2012

DIRECTOR:  JENNIFER CHAMBERS LYNCH
WRITERS:  DAMIAN O'DONNELL AND JENNIFER CHAMBERS LYNCH
STARRING:  VINCENT D'ONOFRIO,  EAMON FARREN, AND EVAN BIRD

I WOKE UP EARLY THIS MORNING AND THOUGHT WHAT I ALWAYS THINK WHEN I HAVE SPARE TIME...LET ME FIND THE BLOODIEST FUCKING MOVIE I CAN THAT'S FREE ON DEMAND.  SO I CAME ACROSS CHAINED WHICH IS NEWLY ADDED.  AS I STARTED IT, I DID MY TYPICAL IMDB RESEARCH TO BROWSE THROUGH THE SYNOPSIS ALONG WITH A FEW REVIEWS TO SEE WHAT TO EXPECT.  

TO MY SURPRISE, THE VIEWER'S RATINGS WERE PRETTY FAVORABLE.  MOST INSISTED IT WAS HARD TO WATCH, YET HAD POWERFUL ACTING IN IT.  I MUST ADMIT, I WAS A LITTLE UNEASY AT FIRST AND WAS EXPECTING THE WORST.  IS IT ODD THAT MY VERSION OF GRUESOMELY VIOLENT SCENES WERE WAY MORE HARDCORE THAN THE ACTUAL SCENES THE REVIEWERS WERE REFERRING TO?  I MEAN, THE ONLY TIME I LITERALLY CRINGED IS WHEN ONE CHARACTER WAS STITCHING UP A WOUND.  I'M NOT SURE IF MY MIND IS SO DEMENTED FROM WATCHING HORROR MOVIES, OR IF ALL OF THESE REVIEWS WERE WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO TYPICALLY FIND THEMSELVES STARRING AT A TELEVISION WHERE LITTLE DISNEY CHARACTERS DANCE ACROSS THE SCREEN.

CHAINED IS ABOUT A SERIAL KILLER WHO CAPTURES THE SON OF ONE OF HIS VICTIMS AND TRAINS HIM TO BE A HELPER IN A WAY.  HE CHAINS HIM UP FOR YEARS, TRANSFORMING HIM INTO A SERVANT WHO COOKS AND CLEANS UP THE GORE THAT SPILLS FROM ALL THE WOMEN, BUT HE ALSO DEVELOPS A TWISTED FATHER/SON RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.  ALTHOUGH THE KILLER IS A VICOUS ATTACKER WHO RUTHLESSLY RAPES AND MURDERS WOMEN WITHOUT REMORSE, HE DOES NOT ENDURE THIS BEHAVIOR ON THE KID.  I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, BUT I JUST WANT TO EMPHASIZE HOW THE KILLER IS MORE INTERESTED IN TAKING THE BOY UNDER HIS WING AS OPPOSED TO HARMING HIM.  THIS FORESHADOWS THE TWIST AT THE END.  

OVERALL, I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS A SUCCESS.  I DO AGREE THAT THE ACTING IS FLAWLESS.  VINCENT D'ONOFRIO IS ON POINT WITH HIS CHARACTER AND REALLY NAILS THE SERIAL KILLER PERSONA.  EAMON FARREN IS CONSISTENTLY SOLID AND PERFECTS THE TRANSITIONING OF HIS ABUSED CHARACTER'S PROGRESSION.

I ESPECIALLY LOVE HOW THE MOVIE IS TOLD FROM THE KILLER'S PERSPECTIVE.  IT'S LIKE WE ARE INSIDE THE MONSTER'S HEAD THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE STORY WHICH IS UNIQUE FOR FILMS LIKE THIS.  WE EVEN SEE FLASHBACKS OF THE SERIAL KILLER BEING ABUSED AS A YOUNG BOY, ALLOWING US TO FULLY ABSORB HIS CHARACTER AS A WHOLE.  ALTHOUGH THIS WAS NOT THE MOST DISTURBING MOVIE THAT HAS EVER SCARRED ME, THERE ARE SOME TWISTED VISIONS DISPLAYED.  

THERE ARE TWO THINGS I FOUND MYSELF SHAKING MY HEAD OVER.  THE ENDING CONTAINS A TWIST, HOWEVER, I FEEL IT WAS RANDOM AND UNNECESSARY.  THIS MOVIE IS ROOTED THROUGH A CHARACTER DRIVEN PLOT AND WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS EFFECTIVE WITHOUT THE TWIST.  I'M NOT SAYING THE LAST SCENES WERE TERRIBLE, THEY JUST WERE NOT JAW DROPPING.  

SECONDLY, I AM INTRIGUED BY REAL LIFE SERIAL KILLERS AND AM SOMEWHAT FAMILIAR WITH THEIR MANNERISMS.  DESPITE THE FACT I THOUGHT THIS WAS ESSENTIALLY EXECUTED, I FOUND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THE KILLER WAS NOT AS OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE AS I WOULD REALISTICALLY IMAGINE HIM TO BE.  AFTER KILLING HIS PREY, HE ROUTINELY GOES THROUGH THEIR WALLET AND KEEPS THEIR CASH AND DRIVER'S LICENSES.  TYPICALLY, KILLERS TREASURE THESE ITEMS AS THEIR TROPHIES, OR REMINDERS OF THEIR CONTROL AND KILLING CONQUESTS.  THINK ABOUT DEXTER FOR EXAMPLE.  HE KEPT HIS BLOOD SLIDES HIDDEN AND ONLY DELICATELY TOUCHED THEM.   THE PREDATOR IN THIS MOVIE CHAOTICALLY THROWS THE CASH INTO A JAR.  HE ALSO PLAYS A GAME WITH THE LICENSES AND DEALS THEM OUT LIKE A DECK OF CARDS.  MY POINT IS, THE FACT THAT THE CHARACTER DOESN'T CHERISH HIS TROPHIES IS A TAD UNREALISTIC.  

I GENUINELY DIG THE FACT THAT THIS MOVIE WAS WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY A WOMAN.  CONSIDERING JENNIFER CHAMBERS LYNCH IS THE DAUGHTER OF DAVID LYNCH, HER TWISTED, YET BRILLIANT AND UNIQUE STYLE IS SELF-EVIDENTLY JUSTIFIED.  






Monday, November 11, 2013

JUST ONE OF THE GUYS

1985

DIRECTOR:  LISA GOTTLIEB
WRITERS:  DENNIS FELDMAN (SCREENPLAY AND STORY) AND JEFF FRANKLIN (SCREENPLAY)
ACTORS:  JOYCE HYSER, CLAYTON ROHNER, BILLY JAYNE, TONI HUDSON, AND WILLIAM ZABKA

I LOVE THE EIGHTIES AND I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW IT!  ALTHOUGH THIS FILM AND I SHARE THE SAME BIRTH YEAR, I GREW UP WATCHING IT.  I SUPPOSE MY CONSTANT HAT WEARING AND TOM BOY STYLE IS WHAT ENCOURAGED ME TO VIEW IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  MOVE OVER, TOOTSIE AND MRS. DOUBTFIRE...GUYS ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES CROSS DRESSING NOW! 

JUST ONE OF THE GUYS IS ABOUT A GIRL WHO TRANSFORMS INTO A BOY.  SHE DOES NOT PERFORM THIS TRANSITION TO FULFILL  SEXUAL NEEDS, NOR TO RECEIVE ATTENTION.  THE REASONING BEHIND HER MADNESS IS TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED FOR HER WRITING TALENT AS OPPOSED TO HER DELICATE FACE AND CURVY BODY.  

TERI HAS EVERYTHING A HIGH SCHOOLER COULD WANT.  SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL, YET  ASTUTE GIRL WITH A HANDSOME BOYFRIEND.  OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS JUST NOT ENOUGH WHEN SHE REALIZES SHE IS BEING STEREOTYPED BECAUSE OF HER GENDER AND SHORT SKIRTS.  

WHEN TERI ATTEMPTS TO INQUIRE ABOUT THE STATUS OF HER JOURNALISM STORY THAT SHE GAVE TO HER TEACHER TO ENTER INTO A COMPETITION, SHE OVER HEARS HIM DISCUSSING INAPPROPRIATE THINGS ABOUT HER WITH ANOTHER MALE TEACHER.  THIS LEADS HER TO BELIEVE THE ONLY REASON HER STORY WAS NOT CHOSEN IS BECAUSE SHE IS SOLELY LOOKED AT AS A SEX OBJECT.  SO, TERI DOES WHAT MOST EIGHTIES WOMEN WOULD NOT DARE TO EVEN PONDER ABOUT.  SHE TRANSFERS SCHOOLS AND SUBMITS THE SAME PAPER, BUT THIS TIME AS A MALE.  WHEN SHE LEARNS HER STORY STILL LACKS POTENTIAL, SHE MUST THINK OF A NEW IDEA TO SUBMIT WHILE SHE LEARNS HOW TO BLEND IN AS JUST ANOTHER GUY IN THE HALLWAYS.  

OBVIOUSLY, IT IS GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN JUST A DEEPER VOICE  FOR TERI TO DISENGAGE HERSELF FROM ALL HER FEMININITY IN ORDER TO KEEP HER "TITS" A SECRET.   TERI CONFIDES IN HER YOUNGER BROTHER WHO IS AN OBNOXIOUS AND HORNY VIRGIN ON THE HUNT FOR HIS FIRST PIECE OF...ACTION.  WITH HIS HELP, TERI LEARNS TO TALK, WALK, AND EVEN SCRATCH HER BALLS LIKE A MAN.  SHE ALSO HAS TO GET CREATIVE WHEN IT COMES TO "SKINS VS SHIRTS" IN GYM CLASS, AVOIDING GIRLS WHO WANT TO TOUCH HER PACKAGE, AND OUTWITTING HER MACHO NEMESIS.  WILLIAM ZABKA PLAYS THE BULLY AND HE IS THE SAME DICK HEAD CHARACTER HE WAS IN THE KARATE KID.  

OF COURSE I FAVOR THIS MOVIE BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING THE ABILITY TO PEE STANDING UP, BUT WITH ALL BALLS, I MEAN JOKING ASIDE,  ITS CORE WILL CRACK EVERYBODY UP, REGARDLESS OF GENDER AND SEXUALITY!  

I MET JOYCE HYSER AT A MONSTER MANIA MOVIE CONVENTION IN CHERRY HILL, NJ.  SHE IS AWESOME TO SAY THE LEAST, AND MY LOVE FOR HER ABSOLUTELY SKY ROCKETED WHEN SHE AGREED TO DO MY SUGGESTED POSE FOR OUR PICTURE!  HER DOWN TO EARTH PERSONALITY AND GENUINE LOVE FOR PEOPLE CAN BE SEEN THROUGH HER FACEBOOK PAGE.  YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE FACEBOOK FRIENDS;)