JOHN CARPENTER and HALLOWEEN

I just watched a biographical documentary that went behind the scenes of John Carpenter's 1978 Halloween.  It interviewed numerous people who participated in the making of this horror classic, and filled the viewer in on the reality of the actual innovation that lies behind the creation of "Michael Myers" and the infamous Halloween series.  


I fucking love John Carpenter and cannot stress the extent of how these two hours just sparked my ambition and passion for horror filmmaking.  This shit spoke to me today.  With this said, I was influenced to write this blog and spread the awareness on the amazing originality of this film and Carpenter.  


I learned today that no blood or gore was ever seen in this original, 1978 version, not to be confused with Rob Zombie's 2007 remake.  Are you shitting me?  This makes me want to watch it again just to confirm this theory is indeed not fabricated.  Apparently the music, sound effects, and physical movement were enough to fool everyone including myself.  I can't even imagine being terrified of a film that doesn't screen blood painted walls or vomit inducing injuries.  This alone is impressive.  


The secret behind the mask was pure luck mixed with talent.  Carpenter hunted for a plain, rubber concealment as a base to trigger his vision, and ultimately chose the mask of a Star Trek character.  White paint smothered the mild facial modifications and hair alterations were established, creating the spine tingling face of "Michael Myers".  Yes, it's currently the lock screen on my i phone:)


Carpenter accepted this challenge in filmmaking primarily for the work aspect of it.  Considering his absence of fondness for the horror genre, he pretty much looked at this as another piece of experience to intertwine into his film reel.  He was considered a newbie in the industry during this production and was only thirty years old!  What inspiration...and relief for a quarter life crisis victim like myself!  


The cast was loaded with fresh meat.  There was a time when the name Jamie Lee Curtis was unheard of, and this was it.  The actual "Michael" was played by the completely inexperienced Nick Castle.  Ironically, his "victims" portray him to be  a light hearted goofball.  PJ Soles, the "boobie shot" girl, laughed as she recalled the production.  She highlighted Castle for being considerate and concerned with her safety during her fatal strangulation scene.  She even confessed that the sight of "The Shape" always makes her laugh because she is reminded that it is Nick Castle.  


Above all, every single person who contributed to this burst of horror aesthetic worked their asses off, but absolutely cherished every moment of it.  If you catch this story on the Biography channel, totally check it out!  I'm sure it will be obnoxiously replayed for the rest of the month.  I'm also pretty sure I napped today and dreamed that John Carpenter is going to be at the next Monster Mania Convention.  My fingers are crossed...

TRAIN

2008
Director:  Gideon Raff
Writer:  Gideon Raff
Starring:  Thora Birch, Gideon Emery, Kavan Reece, and Gloria Votsis


I woke up today with fresh October air gushing into my nose, which reminded me that Halloween is on its way!


My eyes scanned my DVDs, searching for a horror movie I have never seen before. When I came across Train, I remembered picking it up off a Blockbuster shelf.  If Thora Birch is in it, I need it.  


In order to find a good horror film, I have to sift through endless shitty ones.  I crossed my fingers and put the DVD in.  


I bit into my lunch as I pushed play.  The credits floated around the screen while a man was cut from head to toe right before his skin was ripped off.  The squirts of mustard in my mouth never felt so grotesque.  


In all seriousness, the film was fucking gory.  If you have a stomach of steel, you will agree with me when I say I totally dig it even with its overindulgence of blood.  


The plot centers on a group of Americans who miss their train to a European wrestling match.  They board another train with the influence of a stranger's recommendation.  And ten minutes later the screen is bludgeoned with thousands of dollars worth of corn syrup, or fake blood if you will.  


I really appreciate how the movie actually made sense!  Holy shit, a horror movie with a realistic plot!  It may be fucked up, but it sure can happen in real life.  It's another reason why I don't visit foreign countries to say the least.  


I totally recommend this to those who seek a good pre-Halloween scare.  My love, Thora Birch is a fucking rockstar in this flick! I'm sure you recognize her from Hocus Pocus.  Well little "Dani" is all grown up now and is a badass chick during this ride.  

HORRIBLE BOSSES

2011
Director:  Seth Gordon
Writer:  Michael Markowitz (screenplay and story), John Francis Daley (screenplay), and Jonathan M. Goldstein (screenplay)
Starring:  Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Spacey


I've been on a comedy kick lately, but this one should just about wrap it up considering it's HALLOWEEN MONTH!  


I liked this movie.  I wouldn't call it hilarious, but there were some funny scenes!  I love Jason Bateman and just about everything he's in.  I'm not too familiar with Charlie Day or Jason Sudeikis, primarily because I avoid stupid humor movies.  Colin Farrell and Jennifer Aniston are awesome in this!  I've never seen Colin look so nasty and Jennifer so hot!  Above all, Kevin Spacey is the shit and makes this movie!  Obviously this movie does no justice for Spacey after seeing him in The Usual Suspects and American Beauty, but it sure shows us his capability of mastering the role of a psychotic douche bag.  


The movie is about these three guys who are mistreated and taken advantage of by their asshole bosses.  This is funny enough because who can honestly say they love their boss?!  Well, hopefully your boss isn't a coke head, sexual predator, or over the top jerk off.  Well... I said hopefully.  So anyway, these pussy knuckleheads decide to kill each other's bosses.  All goes terribly wrong, but magically works out in the end, as these types of plots typically do.  


The one negative thought about Horrible Bosses that just won't evaporate out of my mind is that the ugliest of the three guys gets pussy all the time.  Yes, I am talking to you, Jason Sudeikis.  What the fuck?  It's more unrealistic than this plot itself.  


Oh yeah, Jamie Foxx is in it too...not too impressed, but I do dig his tats!  Aaand, my favorite scene definitely has the phrase "suck dick for $20 in it"!  :)

YOU AGAIN

2010
DIRECTOR:  ANDY FICKMAN
WRITER:  MOE JELLINE
STARRING:  KRISTEN BELL, JAMIE LEE CURTIS, ODETTE ANNABLE, AND SIGOURNEY WEAVER


NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL FUNNY AS SHIT CALORIE BURNING.  IT'S A CUTE, SILLY FLICK THAT ALLOWED ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH KRISTEN BELL.  AAAND IT CONTAINS MORALS!


I REALLY LIKED THIS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE CAN RELATE, OR AT LEAST FEEL THE PAIN OF KRISTEN BELL'S CHARACTER, MARNI.  MARNI IS A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN WHO FINALLY OVERCAME HER TORTUROUS AND DREADFUL HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES, ONLY TO SUDDENLY FIND OUT HER NUMBER ONE NEMESIS IS ABOUT TO MARRY INTO HER FAMILY.  THAT SUCKS!  MARNI'S ACTIONS AND REVENGE ARE THE REASON WHY I HEART KRISTEN BELL SO MUCH!


YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THE COMPETITION FOR ATTENTION BETWEEN THE TWO GIRLS.  THEY CONSTANTLY MAKE SILENT ATTACKS ON EACH OTHER, HIDING THEIR HATRED FROM THE FAMILY.  AS IF THIS ISN'T ENTERTAINING ENOUGH, MARNI'S MOTHER IRONICALLY KNOWS THE NEMESIS' AUNT FAIRLY WELL FROM BACK IN THE DAY.  THESE LADIES TURN WEDDING REHEARSAL DANCES INTO DIRTY OLD LADY STRIP TEASES AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY PRE-WEDDING EVENT INTO A CLUSTERFUCK.  


I COULDN'T HELP BUT TO NOTICE HOW WELL KRISTEN BELL PLAYS THAT NICE, SWEET GIRL WHO GETS AGGRAVATED TO THE POINT WHERE HER EYES COULD POP OUT.  THE FRUSTRATION THAT EXPLODES OUT OF HER IS PRICELESS.  I MEAN COME ON, WE ALL KNOW THAT FEELING A LITTLE TOO WELL.  WHEN THAT SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE TRICKS PEOPLE INTO THINKING THEY'RE MARSHA FUCKING BRADY WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE FULL OF MORE SHIT THAN A PORT-A-POTTY.  YEAH, THAT FEELING OF WANTING TO punch THE LIES OUT OF THEM.  


KRISTEN BELL AND JAMIE LEE CURTIS KICKS ASS AS A TEAM IN YOU AGAIN.  BESIDES, YOU GET TO SEE BETTY WHITE FLY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!

BRIDESMAIDS

2011 
Director:  Paul Feig
Writer:  Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo
Starring:  Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Rose Byrne


Let me just start off by saying WHAT THE FUCK?  I think I got a defected DVD because this CANNOT possibly be the movie everyone was RaViNg about!  


I thought about this movie all day (after wasting a whole two hours watching it... since when are comedies two hours???) and finally figured out what really irritated me.  Usually movies in this genre contain a series of events that just go wrong in the life of the main character.  Embarrassing yet honest and realistic problems arise, causing the main character to react in a funny manner.  I feel that Christmas Vacation, American Pie, and You Again execute this routine and as a result, we laugh...numerous times.  They over exaggerate and make fools of themselves, and as we watch we somewhat justify their actions because we know if we were put in the situation, our lives would be a comedy show too.  


For example, Clark Griswold is forced to deal with assholes, a burning Christmas tree, 4728324238 lights that just won't work, and an insane brother-n-law in Christmas Vacation.  American Pie's Jim deals with all those puberty-driven obstacles we all are familiar with.  And Marnie, well you will just have to read my next blog, You Again.  


I feel like Bridesmaids was more "stupid humor".  The main character just tried too hard to be funny.  It was like instead of doing stupid and funny things, she was just stupid.  I thought her whole dating life was a joke.  Nothing hilarious ever came out of it.  I did dig the carrot cake though.  I didn't like the poopy puke scenes to say the least.  I also wasn't fond of the shower or even the plane ride.  The airplane scene especially should have been funnier.  I've see drunk girls on the train do worse and they weren't starring in a comedy movie, or at least they didn't think so;)  


I do admit the large, blonde English roommate was my favorite.  I did indeed laugh during her two short scenes.  There's just something about that English muffin!  Maybe this bitch should have been the main character because she would have committed some screen worthy and wild shit.  I also chuckled whenever the large "lesbian" bridesmaid even spoke, but still, I wanted more!!!  


I guess all the commotion people stirred up with this title really urged me to believe this was going to be the female version of Wedding Crashers that I've been waiting for.  I don't know, but they say laughing makes you lose weight.  Well I gained weight during these two hours.  


I suppose this is why I should just stick to horror movies.  My opinion on comedies is far too eccentric, primarily because I was spoiled with knee-slapping 80s and 90s movies back in the day.  If you enjoyed this movie, PLEASE comment why.  I am genuinely curious what the fuck possessed EVERYONE I know to allow this movie title to escape from your lips in such a positive way.  I hope I pissed you off enough to comment:)  And in all seriousness, You Again is a healthier choice considering you will definitely burn more calories laughing!

THE PERFECT HOST

2010
Director:  Nick Tomnay
Writer:  Nick Tomnay
Starring:  David Hyde Pierce, Clayne Crawford, and Nathaniel Parker


I can't decide if I like or HATE this movie.  I think I hate it, but actually dig the ending.  Weird.  Usually it's the ending that bores my senses to hell, but this film was just fucking wacky.  


So, here is a generously, shortened version of the 90 minutes of torture I just endured.  A convict is on the run after robbing a bank and stumbles into a man's house, pretending to be someone he's not.  The convict unmasks his true intentions, only to find himself drugged, tied up, and sitting at a dinner table full of invisible guests invited over by the man of the house, who has multiple personalities.  Yes, I just spent an hour and a half watching a man converse, dance around, and take pictures of himself and his imaginary friends in a not so Drop Dead Fred manner.  


3735893 pictures later, the convict is free.  We then find out the convict was played out by his girlfriend who ratted him out to the police and is currently fleeing with their money.  He magically finds her and confiscates the money.  All is dandy until Mr. 65 Crazy Personalities shows up and takes the money.  Oh yeah, he is also the Lieutenant working on the convict's case.    A detective finally catches on to the truth after receiving a shocking picture in the mail.  The detective confronts Mr. Crazy Man only to eventually accept a dinner invitation at Mr. Crazy Man's house.  THE END.  


Rewind.  What the flying fuck? This movie reminds me of The Human Centipede because it's so random.  As I watched, I couldn't help but to ponder and grasp the reality of someone actually thinking this would be an entertaining movie idea.  Multiple personalities is one thing, but imaginary friends as dinner guests?  There was even one scene where Mr. Crazy Man eats from all six plates so it looks like his guests are eating.  I'd rather have my mouth sewn to someone's ass.  At least that way I wouldn't be able to watch such shit.  Well...


I do admit that David Hyde Pierce plays an amazing disturbed individual.  Also, I like the fact that his crazy ass self wins in the end.  Gotta love it when the lunatics on screen survive!  


This movie really influences me.  What I mean is, if someone can find people to finance a plot like this, I SURE CAN TOO!  Just like the stripper, Diablo Cody.  If she can do it, I sure as hell better be able to too!   ;D

coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo coo 

OVERBOARD

1987
Director:  Garry Marshall
Writer:  Leslie Dixon
Starring:  Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn


I feel like it's time for a chick flick.  Overboard is definitely one of my top lovey dovey movies, if not my favorite.  The music and costumes scream '80s, but in my opinion, the best films in all the genres originated in the 1980s and 1990s.  


Goldie Hawn plays a snotty, rich bitch who gets a rude awakening to say the least.  After being ripped off, Kurt Russell gets his sweet revenge by transforming Hawn into a personal slave.  The trailer at the end of this says it all...


I love this movie for several reasons.  It refrains from being sappy, like most films in this genre tend to be described as.  It's more like two people fall in love during this comedic plot.  It differs from other chick flicks because usually the love stories are overwhelming and fade out everything else going on in the film.  Boring.  


Kurt Russell's charm is priceless and simply shines.  He really does put an immense amount of personality into his character.  Hawn is amazing playing two personalities from opposite sides of the track.  It's classic watching someone of her status adapt into an average lifestyle.  Her failures at basic chores and surviving necessities, let alone raising three reckless little boys, are priceless.


This movie melts my heart, especially when "Dean" tells "Annie"  the legend behind why boats honk three times, all while Elvis Presely's "Can't Help Falling In Love With You", my future wedding song, plays in the background:) xo

SWAT

2003

Director:  Clark Johnson
Writers:  Robert Hamner (characters), Ron Mita and Jim McClain (story), and  David Ayer and David McKenna (screenplay)
Starring:  Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, and Michelle Rodriguez

"You still wanna join SWAT?"
"No.  I just enjoy applying every year."  


Cop movies never really spark my interest for obvious reasons, but this one does.  It's action packed, realistic, and has an awesome, twisted ending.  I dig it!


Pretty much, Colin Farrell gets a second chance after he and his now ex-partner deal with a mishap.  Their challenge of escorting an infamous convict was simple until he offered a multi-million dollar reward on national television to whoever helps him escape.  The shit hits the fan when the helpers are unmasked, revealing who the real bad guys are in the movie.  


Aside from this edgy plot, the film is intertwined with cool scenes of training and rock star music.  Not to mention, who doesn't want to watch Michelle Rodriguez kick ass?!  If you don't get your rocks off from her, I'm sure LL Cool J's 30 pack will do the trick for you.  The screenwriting is slick, but I must admit that my favorite scene is just plain bloody and throat slitting;)

BURIED

2010
Director:  Rodrigo Cortes
Writer:  Chris Sparling
Starring:  Ryan Reynolds and only Ryan Reynolds


Oh boy, where do I begin with this one.  How about, don't watch this.  Better yet, don't waste money on it like I did.  The ENTIRE 95 minutes were filmed inside a coffin.  Need I say more?


So the movie begins with Ryan Reynolds waking up in a buried coffin, and it ends with Ryan Reynolds dying in this very coffin.  There are no other actors or actresses seen in the film besides Reynolds.   It's fucking depressing that I didn't suspect this was going to happen before I purchased this piece of shit.  Even more irritating, I actually sat there in agony just to see this mother fucker stand up and stretch.  Unfortunately, neither of us got our satisfaction.    


I guess the creators were trying to make the viewer feel trapped like our lonely character was.  After all, the only thing I saw for an hour and a half was a small, dark space gated by four  walls.  I get that, but seriously, Chris Sparling, who the fuck wants to watch that?  This uncomfortable time made me squirm and literally join a gym immediately after my viewing.  


I must admit, when I read the description on the back of the DVD, I saw potential.  The story line was believable, considering Reynolds was kidnapped in a foreign land as a ransom.  I assumed he would fight his way out and kick ass like Liam Neeson did in Taken.  The cover for this DVD should be suffocated with a CAUTION label that reveals their budget could only afford Ryan Reynolds, four pieces of wood, and a snake for the entire filming of this.  

THE END

URBAN LEGEND

1998

Director:  Jamie Blanks

Writer:  Silvio Horta

Starring:  Jared Leto, Alicia Witt, Rebecca Gayheart, Tara Reid, Joshua Jackson, Danielle Harris, and Robert Englund

I was thirteen when this came out. By then I already grew accustomed to the bloody trail of gore left behind by Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers, so I was pro.  Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer came out shortly before Urban Legend, so I was intrigued to see if it could bring originality to the table and elevate itself above these other modern day horror movies.  

To be blunt, I fucking love this movie.  It's scary, original, and the killer is a chick!  Oh yeah, there's gonna be spoilers in here;)

The opening scene is classic!  "Turn around.  Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and..." and as you sing the rest of that line in your head, all I can do is visualize a masked killer jump up from the back seat and swing a beheading ax right through the fucking window!  Ouch!  Even I thought the gas attendant was the killer in the beginning.  This opener was an exemplary way to open the doors of this bloody tale.  

The death scenes grow more and more grotesque as the movie goes on. Sorry, but I always gave props to the "dog in the microwave" scene simply because the camera angle came out from inside the microwave. For a few seconds, that angle made you believe you were trapped in the small bloody box.  

Even though these deaths are based on well-known myths, they are pleasing to the eye of a horror movie fan.  Pop rocks mixed with Draino, raw screams of terror on the radio, ankle slicing, and almost a kidney!  Now, aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?

The creators also trickle this story with foreshadowing and symbolism.  Right before Sasha's screams from getting slaughtered are heard on the air, a random kid at a party points out that a scream in a particular song is actually a real life scream dubbed off of a 911 call.  Also, if you have ever watched Dawson's Creek, you probably chuckled when Joshua Jackson's character turns on his car only to hear Paula "Hairy Armpits" Cole's "I Don't Want To Wait" blasting from the speakers.  

My favorite little trivia quirk in this film is at the end.  Right before the killer, Rebecca Gayheart's character, is seen alive retelling her own urban legend, a random girl jokes about the killer being the girl from the Noxema commercials.  If you recall correctly, Rebecca Gayheart is indeed the girl from those actual Noxema commercials.  

Rebecca Gayheart is one of the first girls to show me how pure evil can hide behind a sweet and innocent personality on screen.  This is my favorite quality in an actress because not all attempts of this are successful.  Gayheart's twisted character shows off more sex appeal than a drunk Tara Reid can ever accomplish!

One of the most notable things about this film is how well they hide the killer's identity.  I am pretty sure I accused every character of being the killer during my first viewing.  Everyone EXCEPT Gayheart's character ironically.  Obviously I am a professional at spotting the killer within the first fifteen minutes of every horror film, but even I must admit this movie gave me a run for my money.  

This film was also my motivation and influence every time my Oscar nominee self would publicly fake my own death at work using Pop rocks and soda:)  For this I thank you.  

Oh and before I forget, please don't misconstrue my words and watch any of the sequels because they are absolutely horrible.  

                        

CASE 39

2009
Director:  Christian Alvart
Writer:  Ray Wright
Starring:  Renee Zellweger, Bradley Cooper, and Jodelle Ferland






The one regret I have with this movie is not seeing it two years ago.  This is what I like to refer to as a sneak attack film.  A movie that appears to guarantee disappointment, but actually is awesome!


I went to Blockbuster the other night and picked out some cheap DVDs to fill more space in my living room.  As much as I love horror films, even I must admit that 85% of them suck balls to the core.  In my opinion, even if the story sucks, I feel my money is well spent as long as I at least get one cool death scene.  Not only did this film fulfill my quench for blood, but it was an all around cool flick.  


First and foremost, I love love love a child actor who can play two personalities.  How the fuck do they that?  When Jodelle Ferland first appears on screen, you automatically sympathize for her.  She literally looks like a child who has been through torturous abuse to the point where she is in that numb stage.  I remember being horrified and offended with the "oven" scene in the beginning, but by the time the credits roll it all comes clear to the viewing eye.  I cannot stress enough how talented this kid is, however, it probably has something to do with that fact that this actress has the face and height of an eight year-old, but will actually be turning seventeen next month.  Teenager or not, she still rocks!


The chill her little voice sends down your spine is priceless.  It is quite an achievement to manipulate the audience just as she did with Renee Zellweger.  She softens your heart right before she raises your arm hairs.  Not only do I give her tons of credit for her creepy way of verbalizing threats, but I must pat the back of writer Ray Wright for providing her with such a unique script.  


Another thing about horror movies that can make or break a story in my eyes is the realism behind the plot.  If it can't happen in real life, it doesn't scare me.  Sorry, but zombies, were-panthers, and other random creatures of the night just don't cut it in my book.  I do, however, believe in the existence of ghosts and demons.  I would not necessarily place this type of movie in the science fiction genre, however, I suppose you need to possess a spiritual and open mind to believe something of the sort could possibly happen in real life.     


This film executed my expectations for horror films.  It concludes with a believable ending that had an appropriate amount of blood and unique death scenes intertwined in its solid plot.  I definitely recommend this movie for those who seek a two hour escape to horror heaven.  As the credits roll over the creepy ending music, you will find yourself feeling grateful you are not being swallowed up by your own interpretation of hell.  After all, what is YOUR worst nightmare?  

GETTING INSIDE...DOMINIQUE SWAIN

I fucking love Dominique Swain.  How could you not love this gorgeous soul?  She doesn't star in many well known films, but she somehow exerts herself and stands out in all of her roles.  Luckily, I will have the pleasure of personally asking her just how she does it when I meet her at Chiller Theatre on October 29, 2011 :)

The Smokers stands high on my favorite movie list.  Aside from its originality and underlying darkness, Swain stars as a good girl surrounded by edgy peer pressure.  I refuse to give out any details of the film in the hopes you will just watch it for yourself.  Ladies will especially enjoy this flick, and believe me when I say Dominique never disappoints.

New Best Friend is another favorite of mine.  Swain portrays a character who is wildly exploding with exemplary behavior.  She is the perfect example of a spoiled brat dedicated to wasting her daddy's money, that is.  This is another movie that is just too good to spoil.  

A friend of mine introduced me to this film.  It was another one of those DVDs that sat comfortably on my list of impossible movies to find due to its lack of advertisement I suppose.  Even though its cast includes other well known names like Taye Diggs, Mia Kirshner, and Rachel True, even I have never heard of it before.  

This is exactly why you can understand how ECSTATIC I was to literally stumble across it in the Christmas Tree Shops.  No matter what store I am in I ALWAYS browse through the DVDs, no matter how small of a collection is on display, in the hopes of finding a lucky one.  Buried between Lifetime movies and unheard of 80's films sat ONE copy of New Best Friend.  Not only was it the best $5.00 investment ever, but it also was a sign it was destined to reside on one of my many DVD shelves because I absolutely fell in love with it during my first viewing.  This story exerts many aesthetics including foreshadowing and twists told with a flashback technique.  I am a sucker for flashbacks.  

Not only are these two films absolutely amazing, but they also reveal Swain's talent of playing opposite characters and personalities on screen.  

You may also recognize Swain from Face Off.  She played John Travolta's rebellious daughter who stabs him with a butterfly knife!  Awesome!  Although she did not stand out much in this film, you just have to credit her for learning the 'balisong' technique in that stabbing scene.  

I MISS SHARK WEEK!

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO FIRST TO SET THE MOOD!


As Lady Gaga would say, "SHOW ME YOUR TEETH!"  Shark Week colored my television screen with blood all last week.  I must admit the shows are quite educational.  I learned that the first ever record of an American shark attack was in July of 1916.  And yup...it was in New Jersey!  Hmmm...perhaps MTV should have an episode of "Jersey Shore" dedicated to seeing which cast member can swim the furthest:)

Anyway, the reason I even chose this particular show, besides its cool name, "Blood in the Water", is because these first attacks influenced the movie Jaws.  I'm not a huge fan of Steven Spielberg, but even I have a soft spot for this movie.  I'm not even sure if it's the great white that makes me shit my pants, or the anxiety attack I feel coming on at the sight of miles and miles of ocean water.  Regardless, Jaws is a classic.  Period.

Unfortunately, there are so many movies that butcher the fear of sharks.  Deep Blue Sea was just too sci-fi for me.  Plain and simple...if it can't happen in real life, I don't want to watch it.  Sharks are scary enough, therefore, why the hell do you need to jazz them up with superpowers.  Blah...

Open Water really rubbed me the wrong way.  The movie states in bold letters that it is based on a true story.  Last time I checked, this story was about a couple who found themselves accidentally abandoned in the middle of the ocean when their boat left without them.  They were never found.  The movie was pretty much marketed this as a bloody shark movie.  Dammit...it worked because I definitely contributed to their bullshit profits by purchasing this DVD.

My complaint isn't even directed at the fact that they threw sharks in as bait so more people would watch it.  My problem is that the movie was too slow even for Clint Eastwood.  The R rating label came strictly from the pointless boob shot in the beginning of the movie, and there wasn't even a friggin' shark attack.  It was more like a shark bite.  They would have been better off exaggerating the fabrication of the possible shark theory.  I spent the whole time on edge for NO climax.

I recently watched the movie The Reef.  It was a typical, mediocre shark movie.  A group of people are stranded in the middle of the ocean yada yada yada, and then dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt.  I do believe an hour passed before I saw the first shark of the film, but overall it was satisfyingly scary and rocked a few awesome shark attacks.

I must admit my favorite shark movie of all time is Jaws The Revenge.  I grew up watching this when I was a child who didn't realize that like 98% of all sequels suck.  Well this one landed in the thumbs up percentile in my opinion.  Please ignore the fact that it has been acknowledged as one of the worst movies ever on many peoples' hall of shame lists.  Fuck them:)

Every time I hear "The First Noel" Christmas carol I think of the opening blood bath shark attack!  I really like the transition from the unsettling ocean to the fish eye being cooked by a main character.  In the same scene, the first shark victim cuts himself by mistake, foreshadowing his violent death in the near future.  I mean, who cares if this film's plot was based on the ridiculous theory that the shark was the original killer from the first film.  The gore and sentimental value combined keeps it on top of my shark list.

A new shark movie comes out September 2.  shark Night 3D will probably not be worth the $13 ticket, but I'm pretty certain there will be boobs and blood!

AMERICAN HISTORY X

1998
Director:  Tony Kaye

Writer:  David McKenna

Starring:  Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Beverly D'Angelo, and Fairuza Balk

This is one of those movies that leaves a scar on your heart and has a place in your memory forever.  If you ask someone if they have ever seen it, just the natural reaction of that teeth breaking emotion of pain explodes over their face, answering your question with a yes.

First and foremost, I have to confess my love for Edward Norton.  He is just awesome.  I have seen him execute every different type of character and personality.  You may always recognize his face from film to film, but you can never take his roles for granted until you see the credits.  He even beats Ted Bundy for the champion of sociopathy when he is on camera.

I love that American History X opens and closes with a beach.  It makes me compare the ocean and the reality of racism.  It's overwhelming and looks to be infinite in size.  It can swallow you up before you know it.

I also really dig the use of black and white for the obvious reasons, along with the symbolism behind it.  Naturally, the absence of color differentiates the past from the present while the story flash backs in time to tell a story.  I always have a soft spot for these special moments in movies.  However, when the screen changes like that in this film, I feel the director wanted us to see in black and white because that's all the main characters saw.  They ignored everything about people to exert their focus on their skin color instead.  Whenever color entered the viewers vision again, Edward Norton's character, Derek, was out of prison with a reformed mind set.  In other words, he removed the hate that was obstructing his view, and he gained his sight back while we were able to see color again.

The excitement integrated with the eye-popping scenes of violence made a two hour movie fly by.  There were a lot of character building scenes that consisted of large chunks of dialogue.  Sometimes a lot of talking can make you check your watch twice in one minute, but on the other hand, the movie creators only have 120 minutes to introduce a character, and in this case a transformation of character, well enough to get the viewer emotionally attached to him.  This movie does a genius job with this because although I do not agree with Derek's initial attitude,  I was still intrigued by his knowledge and intensity.  His preaching and leadership grabbed you by the throat, but him smashing a guy's skull open on a curb shivered your spine.

It's rare you come across a man raping another man on screen.  In my opinion, I find that all rape scenes, regardless the circumstance, haunt my memory.  Unfortunately, I find it difficult to cleanse my eyes and ears of the damage done even if it is just a movie being filmed with hundreds of crew members surrounding the victim.  Well to say the least, it must have been awkward for Edward Norton to accept the role of "Derek" knowing what was in store for him.

On a side note, I will be meeting Edward Furlong at Monster Mania in Cherry Hill, NJ at the end of this month!  I think I'm more excited to hear his distinct voice in person!  Hasta la vista, Baby!

BULLY

2001
Based on a true story.
Director:  Larry Clark
Writers:  Jim Schutze (book)
           David McKenna (as Zachary Long) and
          Roger Pullis (screenplay)
Starring:  Brad Renfro and Nick Stahl

Let's be blunt here...this is a fucked up story.  It is true, therefore, it must be told.  Now, I watched this film quite a few times years ago, however, I recently watched a documentary on it.  Thanks to the Biography channel (YOU ROCK!), I knew just from reading the description that it was the same story.

Oddly enough, the stories from the movie and documentary drifted apart in certain aspects.  Primarily, the focus on who the victim is and who the "real bad guy" is differs here.  I know films can fabricate issues in stories and still slap the "this is based on a true story" sticker, attracting a wider audience, however, I just don't see why they would have to fabricate a story that is already outrageously bloodcurdling.  Let me discuss a little of each so you can tell me what you think...

The gist of the story goes a little something like this.  There are a group of teenage friends who are abused physically, sexually, and verbally by one of their own.  It is disturbing to watch, yet even more confusing to grasp the concept of why this "bully" remains in the friend category for so many people.  I pondered this until they all murdered him.

The movie really makes the murder of the "bully" seem justified, especially for the main character, who is the "bully's" best friend.  The movie shows mild slashes of brutalization towards the best friend.  This abuse includes random punches to the face, peer pressure, and absolute loss of control that is surrendered to manipulation.  Just to get a glimpse of what I'm referencing, the most disturbing scene contains the bully violently interrupting the best friend having sex with his own girlfriend to rape her.  The best picture I can paint for you of this bully is visualizing that douche bag you see at the bar every weekend who is obnoxiously violating every girl's personal space, and multiply him by 4,738.

The documentary on the other hand, declined to mention the intensity of the abuse the bully submerged his so-called friends in.  If I recall correctly, there wasn't even any mention of the numerous rapes he committed throughout the film.  It makes me wonder if he even was the monster that the movie easily convinced the viewer to hate.  Perhaps the documentary only relied on the words of the bully's family, forcing them to neglect the acknowledgement of the defensive, justifying words from the guilty gang of friends.  I distinctly remember one policeman's statement from the documentary.  He blatantly claimed that this group of people, or malicious killers depending on who you ask, would have killed regardless of the circumstance.  He claimed that if it wasn't the bully, these losers in his eyes would have murdered someone else.  He truly believes they are animals with that crooked "Ted Bundy" look in their eyes.

In my opinion, the reasoning behind the murder of Bobby Kent remains a mystery.  We all are aware of the power behind peer pressure mixed with anger, but this story is pretty hardcore.  In the case the movie has more truth intertwined in the story, I can see how this situation could come about.  Bullying and its effects, especially recently, has unfortunately intensified.  As much as I believe that two wrongs don't make a right, this story reminds me of some episodes of Oxygen's "Snapped", where battered wives are abused and mutilated to the point where murder is the one and only escape from the fatal darkness.  Although the documentary would naturally be looked upon as holding more truth than some movie, something inside tells me there's more to this story than the loving families of all those involved will ever know.  With everyone either dead or rotting behind torturous bars, will we ever know the secrets that hide behind the curtains of what happened the night of July 15, 1993?