TRAIN

2008
Director:  Gideon Raff
Writer:  Gideon Raff
Starring:  Thora Birch, Gideon Emery, Kavan Reece, and Gloria Votsis


I woke up today with fresh October air gushing into my nose, which reminded me that Halloween is on its way!


My eyes scanned my DVDs, searching for a horror movie I have never seen before. When I came across Train, I remembered picking it up off a Blockbuster shelf.  If Thora Birch is in it, I need it.  


In order to find a good horror film, I have to sift through endless shitty ones.  I crossed my fingers and put the DVD in.  


I bit into my lunch as I pushed play.  The credits floated around the screen while a man was cut from head to toe right before his skin was ripped off.  The squirts of mustard in my mouth never felt so grotesque.  


In all seriousness, the film was fucking gory.  If you have a stomach of steel, you will agree with me when I say I totally dig it even with its overindulgence of blood.  


The plot centers on a group of Americans who miss their train to a European wrestling match.  They board another train with the influence of a stranger's recommendation.  And ten minutes later the screen is bludgeoned with thousands of dollars worth of corn syrup, or fake blood if you will.  


I really appreciate how the movie actually made sense!  Holy shit, a horror movie with a realistic plot!  It may be fucked up, but it sure can happen in real life.  It's another reason why I don't visit foreign countries to say the least.  


I totally recommend this to those who seek a good pre-Halloween scare.  My love, Thora Birch is a fucking rockstar in this flick! I'm sure you recognize her from Hocus Pocus.  Well little "Dani" is all grown up now and is a badass chick during this ride.