Tuesday, September 27, 2011

BURIED

2010
Director:  Rodrigo Cortes
Writer:  Chris Sparling
Starring:  Ryan Reynolds and only Ryan Reynolds


Oh boy, where do I begin with this one.  How about, don't watch this.  Better yet, don't waste money on it like I did.  The ENTIRE 95 minutes were filmed inside a coffin.  Need I say more?


So the movie begins with Ryan Reynolds waking up in a buried coffin, and it ends with Ryan Reynolds dying in this very coffin.  There are no other actors or actresses seen in the film besides Reynolds.   It's fucking depressing that I didn't suspect this was going to happen before I purchased this piece of shit.  Even more irritating, I actually sat there in agony just to see this mother fucker stand up and stretch.  Unfortunately, neither of us got our satisfaction.    


I guess the creators were trying to make the viewer feel trapped like our lonely character was.  After all, the only thing I saw for an hour and a half was a small, dark space gated by four  walls.  I get that, but seriously, Chris Sparling, who the fuck wants to watch that?  This uncomfortable time made me squirm and literally join a gym immediately after my viewing.  


I must admit, when I read the description on the back of the DVD, I saw potential.  The story line was believable, considering Reynolds was kidnapped in a foreign land as a ransom.  I assumed he would fight his way out and kick ass like Liam Neeson did in Taken.  The cover for this DVD should be suffocated with a CAUTION label that reveals their budget could only afford Ryan Reynolds, four pieces of wood, and a snake for the entire filming of this.  






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