THE MOVING BLUES

Since all of my free time has recently been spent on moving to a new apartment, I decided to dedicate this blog to just that.  The spring smell is in the air, and new beginnings are blooming.  Movies revolved around moving attempt an assortment of approaches with the hopes of scaring you, making you laugh, or planting a seed of paranoia in your mind.

House is a cheesy eighties horror movie.  Although it never succeeds at giving you chills, it is sentimental to me because I grew up watching it.  A recently divorced guy inherits his aunt's house after her suicide.  As he settles in, he is tormented by disturbing hauntings from his past.  The optimum scene is when a pretty neighbor transforms into a pudgy, whiny monster.  This film will scare even YOU out of the closet.

The Amityville Horror movie originated in 1979 and was modernized in 2005.  The allegedly true story is based on a family moving into a house that holds a traumatic future for them.  Similar to The Shining, the father becomes a slave to evil under his own roof.  As always, it's not an enjoyable ride for the surrounding family members.

On the brighter side of things, 1988 delighted us with a comedic approach to this topic.  Moving stars Richard Pryor and Randy Quaid.  Quaid plays a crazed neighbor whose heckling drives Pryor and his family out of the neighborhood.  Aside from the obvious torture, Pryor also must jump over the obstacles left by his kids, the movers, and the previous home owners of his new, hollow house.  This is one of those DVDs that makes you say "we're taking it with us!"

DrUgGiE mOvIeS

Drug use can be seen in an infinite amount of movies, but only some surround their plots around them.  These types of movies are scattered in different genres.  Some keep you laughing, while others drain your serotonin and disturb your mood with their depressing story lines.

Weed infested films tend to float around with a comedic feel.  How High, Dazed and Confused, Super Troopers, and Half Baked are all burning with laughs, however, I am intrigued to discuss films with more of a raw and realistic feel.  Those few films that have the capability of squeezing your spine while your eyes are exposed to such horrific living situations.  The type of films where characters are eaten alive by heroin and cocaine addictions.

These stories literally make all of my problems seem a little better.  After all, I can't remember the last time I contemplated selling my things, or body for that matter, in order to pay my school loans.  Nor can I recall stealing from loved ones to pay for sudden car repairs.

Just saying Requiem for a Dream out loud creates a discomforting feeling in my stomach.  My first viewing of this movie left me in a depressed state because of its authentic peak into a drug swarmed reality.  The beginning of the film pumps you up for a wicked come down in the end.  This heart wrenching story makes my ears throb with endless teeth grinding.  One viewing of this will inject your soul with a lifetime of vexation.


Gia is one of my favorite movies in the world.  This is based on the true life and tragedy of the supermodel Gia Marie Carangie.  Angelina Jolie is an incredible replica of Gia, and I don't know a single person who would dispute that.  You find yourself in love with a woman you do not personally know, and therefore grow heartbroken when you see a wonderful life deteriorate from heroin abuse.  Unlike most films like this, Gia is seen as a victim rather than a drug addict.  The downward spiral immediately becomes apparent, but it's just too late to throw out that helping hand.

Along with these two films, Spun, The Basketball Diaries, and Wonderland stand above all when looking for a movie in this genre.  All these movies differ in their story telling approach, however, they all effectively execute the point.  Before you attempt to snort these movie concepts, remember they are an acquired taste.

  

HOT SEX SCENES

Sex sells.  This is has been implanted in my mind since my very first communications class at community college.  This blog title (and picture!) will probably double my views.  Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, movie sex seduces and grabs the attention of a wide audience and sky rockets its ratings.

Having a "love scene" was required in my final screenplay for one of my classes.  Even though we were not obligated to describe a dirty, X-rated scene, we still had to  emphasize or imply sex was going to take place in the story.  I did not really understand this rule at the time, however, today I do.  Sex is as relevant as action, dialogue, and the movie plot itself.  Even G-rated movies like Shrek include a love story with affectionate scenes such as kissing.  Name a movie that excludes sex and/or any "love scenes" of the sort, depending on its rating.  Good luck!  Even Pretty Woman's entire storyline revolves around sex without spilling a drop of dirt on the ground:)

If you are a fan of HBO's Sex and the City and have ever watched a rerun on TBS,  you understand the throbbing pain that comes with having an unsatisfied craving.  I can get over the verbal "fucks" being transposed into "hells" and "screws", but I just can't swallow the sex scenes being edited out!  Sometimes I don't even know why some channels bother to air movies and shows with such restriction.  They rape R-rated stories of their virtue to the point where it's practically mutated into a different chronicle. Fail!

Anyhoo, I would like to dedicate this time to movies with outrageously honorable and sexy scenes.  Wild Things, even with Matt Dillon in the way, provides a few wonderful moments for the viewer.  Boogie Nights would not be a movie without all its classic scenes that explode and violate  the viewer (in a good way!) about every thirty seconds throughout the entire story.  Also, Basic Instinct would not be the popular prototype it is without Sharon Stone pulling a "Britney Spears" with her twat shot.

Gia, Eyes Wide Shut, Cruel Intentions, Unfaithful, Inventing the Abbotts, Spun, New Best Friend, Body Double, Risky Business, and Cruel Intentions are all noteworthy choices when you're hungry for this type of stimulation.   Did I neglect to give your favorite steamy movie an honorable mention?  Please enlighten me via the comment box below...

FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

2009
Director:  Marcus Nispel
Screenwriters:  Damian Shannon and Mark Swift
Story Writers:  Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, and Mark Wheaton
Starring:  Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, and Derek Mears


(Original Movie Director:  Sean S. Cunningham
Original Writers:  Victor Mill and Ron Kurz)


All of my DVD's are packed up in boxes, so for the next couple weeks I will have to rely on taking chances with free movies on On Demand.  Hopefully I get lucky and choose some good ones in the future, because tonight I put on something so terrible I just had to end the torture.  To avoid further disappointment tonight, I put on the remake of Friday the 13th.  I watched this once when it first came out and I don't recall being wowed by it, but do remember it being scary.

Out of these types of classic horror films, this was probably my least favorite because it was the most unrealistic.  Even Nightmare On Elm Street was influenced by a true horror.  I believe it was a while ago in Japan, where dead students were found after complaining about something disturbing them while they slept.  They were so petrified that they resorted to hiding coffee machines in their closets in order to stay awake.  Knock on wood, but I don't really know of any true stories where a child dies and comes back from the dead as an enormous, masked maniac.

I did enjoy the opening scene of a reenactment from the original.  I appreciate how the story meshes the traditional rules with modernized originality, although I wish they used the original theme music more.  My favorite scene is the first kill.  One of the victims stumbles across the marijuana plants the group is planning on taking.  As he is indulging in their orgasmic scent, Jason appears.  I remember jumping in the movie theater.  I was so distracted, I completely forgot it was a horror movie for a second!  I kind of dig the "long intro" during the first fifteen minutes, although I was not fond of it the first time I watched it.

I also totally dig the death scenes with the boat.  I thought the arrows were a tricky and suspenseful way to deliver death.  I also thought the boat running the girl over was a cool effect to shoot into the mix, but the boobie shot there really made me chuckle.  You especially see this "rating trick" in most horror movies.  There are always boobs that just pop out with irrelevance to the story.  Even the original Halloween has a classic breast shot.  This is usually something the creators do not only to attract and satisfy viewers of the sexual desires, but also to kick their rating up a notch.  It's a good way to guarantee an R-rating.

All you can really expect and hope for with recently made horror movies is that they scare the shit out of you while being careful not to overindulge in the use of blood to the extent of it screaming fabrication.  It's rather unlikely you find a scary movie that intertwines the gore and violence with strong character backgrounds and a suspenseful and twisted story line.  Typically you get one or the other.  One of my goals in life is to pull a Tarantino by creating a new generation of film for the horror genre.

OPEN HOUSE

2010

Writer and Director:  Andrew Paquin

Starring:  Brian Geraghty, Rachel Blanchard, and Anna Paquin (although Anna is in it for ten seconds, and that includes the three seconds wasted on showing her dead body.)


I found this movie on On Demand today for free!  I decided to watch it because I was already intrigued when I saw it in a store.  Due to its overpricing and unlikely chance of even being worth the twenty-dollars, I did not purchase it.  I must admit today the advertising won me over as well.  Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are shown on the cover, leading one to assume they hold a relevant role in the story.  WRONG!

Overall, this movie is terrible and I am going to spoil everything about it in the hopes of saving you time and money.  Stephen Moyer's character is also introduced right before he is stabbed in the neck, during climax may I add.  It was weird to see him without bloody fangs in the sunlight.  His sex partner and killer, along with her socially awkward brother, break into an occupied, open house and go on a killing spree.  As they are slashing every person who walks through the front door, the brother is secretly keeping the owner of the house hostage.

Yeah, it's weird.  He and his sister have that incest flirtation going on that I can never grasp the concept of.  They never really establish what their malfunction is or why they enjoy going Texas Chainsaw Massacre in random open houses.  Above all, the film lacks character development, and therefore prevents the viewer from growing emotionally attracted to the characters.  Honestly, the only thing I looked forward to while watching this was the credits so I knew who to blame for this mess.

So after a few murderous rampages and an eye stabbing, the brother and sister are the only survivors.  It ends with them checking out a new open house, which the viewer thankfully gets to assume instead of watching, the same thing happens again.  If you want blood, your attention will be better spent on watching something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Saw, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, or even Cabin Fever.  Ugh..NEXT!

TV SHOWS

My anticipation for the third season of Nurse Jackie has influenced this blog.  I cannot express my excitement enough.  Oh how I long to chuckle over the problems the infamous, pill popping, juggling, needle pricking Nurse Jackie deals with on a daily basis.  She does have one friend who she introduced to about half of her closet skeletons.  Dr. O'Harah, the same woman whose high-heel tapping launches my mind into perversion.

If you are unfamiliar with the show, I advise you start indulging immediately!  It is a television show that allows just about every emotion to explode in each episode.  If you are not laughing at Jackie's dry humor, Chloe's innocent struggle for Jackie's affection, or O'Harah's pompous lip, you are concerned about her daughter, embarrassed for her husband, smiling when sweet revenge is served to those deserving it, or clenching tears back as another life drifts away in the All Saints' Hospital emergency room.  It's contents are volcanic and more than fulfilling.

My thirst for a compelling television show is typically quenched from HBO and Showtime series.  I hold the film crews responsible for these creations and visualizations on a high pedestal.  Some of them are just mind-blowing and fascinating to think how such ideas can be mastered on screen.  Ever since I was a little girl, I told myself I was going to write something for HBO.  Currently, my attention is caught up on Showtime's Shameless, however, the completion of this season will shortly be replaced with Nurse Jackie and The United States of Tara.

My heart truly looks forward to the future seasons of shows such as Dexter, True Blood and Weeds.  I cannot help feeling connected to some of the characters in movies and television shows.  Losing television characters make my heart ache even more because I feel like I've known them for all the years the show has aired, as opposed to characters in a two-hour movie.  With this said, I cannot possibly describe in words how much I miss my buddies from OZ, Sex and the City, Rome, and The L Word.  


By the overbearing and sudden burst of Dexter memorabilia in my possession, one would assume my favorite show is just that.  I am sorry to inform you that my #1 spot will always and forever be a home only for HBO's OZ.


Also...Season 3 of Showtime's Nurse Jackie begins on Monday, March 28th at 10pm!

CHLOE

2009

Director:  Atom Egoyan

Writers:  Erin Cressida Wilson and Anne Fontaine

Starring:  Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried, and Liam Neeson

I was craving a movie today when Chloe crossed my mind.  A friend had lent it to me months ago, and I didn't know much about it.  Ironically, this film would have been another pertinent illustration in my "Psychotic Significant Others" blog.

It did differ from the rest, as they usually should at least attempt to stand out in such a large crowd of similar movies.  It started off with a slight boom, but I am not even considering the opening scene that revealed Amanda Seyfried's breast.  This was a G-rated foreshadowing for what was about to explode out of this R-rated story.  I am still shaking my head in disbelief at one particular scene.  Hmm, awkward...

Although I do appreciate the different approach in the storytelling of this typical movie evolved around a couple being taunted with adultery, I didn't really enjoy the drawn out story line, especially when it was speckled with intense conversations that overstayed their welcome.  It did not hold an ounce of suspense, nor thrill, yet I must admit it did make me question each main characters' words.  The twisted ending was a nice "cherry on top" tasting conclusion.  This was enough to earn admittance into my public thoughts, however, I would recommend other films in the genre before this one :/