AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN

2013

CREATORS:  BRAD FALCHUK AND RYAN MURPHY

STARRING:  JESSICAN LANGE, EMMA ROBERTS, JAMIE BREWER, EVAN PETERS, TAISSA FARMIGA, SARAH PAULSON, AND KATHY BATES

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.  THIS FIRST EPISODE'S EXPLOSION OF BLOOD IS MIND BLOWING.  

THE UNIQUE FACT THAT EACH SEASON OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO EACH OTHER IS GENUIS, HOWEVER, IT'S WAY MORE DIFFICULT IN THE SENSE THAT EVERY FIRST EPISODE HAS TO BE INTERTWINED WITH BACKSTORIES OF THE NEW CHARACTERS.  SOMEHOW, FALCHUK AND MURPHY ARE INCREDIBLY ARTISTIC AND SEEM TO HAVE NO PROBLEM SUCCEEDING IN THIS WITHOUT BORING THE VIEWERS TO DEATH.  IN MY OPINION, THE KEY TO THIS IS TO SHOW US WHO THE CHARACTERS ARE AS OPPOSED TO TELLING US.  THIS IN ITSELF IS A FASCINATING ACCOMPLISHMENT.  

I ALSO HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE ART THAT LIES BURIED INSIDE THE SCREENWRITING.  IN THE BEGINNING,  JESSICA LANGE TOLD THE DOCTOR, "I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING", IN REFERENCE TO THE MEDICINE THAT MADE ALLEGRA YOUNG AGAIN.  THIS IS AN AWESOME OMAGE TO ROB REINER'S WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.  I ALSO FOUND WICKED HUMOR WHEN LANGE TOLD SARAH PAULSON THAT IT WAS IRONIC SHE DIDN'T OWN A BROOM.  SOMETIMES IT TAKES MORE THAN ONE VIEWING TO CATCH THESE LITTLE THINGS, SO I WATCHED IT THREE TIMES.  (I KNOW IT'S ONLY SUNDAY, BUT I SWEAR I HAVE A LIFE!)

THE MUSIC WAS KILLER IN THIS EPISODE.  I FEEL LIKE IT CONSTANTLY PUMPED YOU UP FOR WHAT WAS IN STORE.  IT WORKED AS A GREAT AESTHETIC, ADDING MORE EMOTION TO ALL DIFFERENT SCENES, INCLUDING THE INTRODUCTION OF EACH CHARACTER, ESPECIALLY THE ACTORS FROM PREVIOUS SEASONS!  IT ALSO INTENSIFIED THE TERROR AND WAS ROCKING WHEN LANGE WAS HAVING HER INFAMOUS SOLO PARTY. 

JESSICA LANGE IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE FUCKING MASTER CHARACTER. WHETHER SHE IS CONSTANCE, SISTER JUDE, OR FIONA, SHE ALWAYS DELIVERS THE GOOD WITH THE EVIL.  LANGE ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO LIGHT UP A ROOM WITH POSITIVE ENERGY, OR PUT HER CIGARETTE OUT ON A PLATE WHILE HER EVIL AURA DOMINATES.  THIS IS PRICELESS BECAUSE I NEVER CAN INITIALLY SENSE WHAT HER INTENTIONS ARE.  HER UNPREDICTABLE APPEARANCE AND ACTIONS KEEP THE VIEWERS ON THE TIP OF THEIR TOES.  

IN EACH SEASON, AMERICAN HORROR STORY'S CAST KEEPS GROWING. I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT THIS SEASON'S CAST IS TOP FUCKING NOTCH.  OBVIOUSLY IT'S HEARTWARMING TO SEE YOUR FAVORITE ACTORS FROM OTHER SEASONS COME TO LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN, BUT KATHY BATES IS A CRUCIAL ADDITION!  I MEAN, REGARDLESS HOW MANY BROOMS ONE COULD POSSIBLY POSSESS, NOBODY COULD EVER ESCALATE ABOVE JESSICA LANGE, BUT BATES IS SURE TO SHINE IN THE UPCOMING EPISODES.  

AND OF COURSE, I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.  MISS MADISON MONTGOMERY, OH HOW YOU STOLE MY CROWN FOR BEST CHARACTER OF THE SEASON, ALONG WITH MY HEART OF COURSE.  EMMA ROBERTS' CHARACTER REALLY STANDS OUT IN MY EYES.  THE COMBINATION OF HER BITCHY DIALOGUE AND IMPRESSIVE POWER MAKE HER PRESENCE KNOWN.  I HAVE MY FINGERS CROSSED THAT SHE NOT ONLY BLOWS THE ROOF OFF IN THIS SEASON, BUT ALSO IN FUTURE SEASONS.  SHE'S AQUARIUS TOO..JUST SAYING...

YOU'RE NEXT

2011
DIRECTOR:  ADAM WINGARD
WRITER:  SIMON BARRETT
STARRING:  SHARNI VINSON, JOE SWANBERG, AJ BOWEN, NICHOLAS TUCCI, AND BARBARA CRAMPTON

I THINK I HAVE MY UPCOMING HALLOWEEN COSTUME NARROWED DOWN...SHOULD I BE THE LAMB, THE TIGER, OR THE FOX?

IT IS CLEAR TO ME THAT WINGARD AND BARRETT ARE NOT JUST A DIRECTOR AND A WRITER, BUT THEY ARE SIMPLY ARTISTS.  THIS DUO AESTHETICALLY SPLATTERED THE BLOOD WHILE TELLING A HORRIFIC, YET REALISTIC TALE.  

IT STARTED WITH A CLIMAXING BOOM...LITERALLY.  THE BEST WAY TO REEL IN THE AUDIENCE IS TO DISTRACT THEM WITH SOME BOOBIES RIGHT BEFORE SCARING THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.  MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS BEING FORCED TO WAIT MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES TO SEE THE FIRST TRACE OF BLOOD IN A HORROR MOVIE.  THIS OPENING WAS THIRST QUENCHING TO SAY THE LEAST.  

EVERY KILL SCENE WAS UNIQUE AND HAD ME JUMPING OUT OF MY SEAT.  I DUG THE CHOICE OF WEAPONS, ESPECIALLY THE BOW AND ARROW.  IT ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BUY ONE PROBABLY BECAUSE I ALREADY OWN A MACHETE AND AN AXE.  I FEEL LIKE THIS WEAPON CREATED FEAR SIMILAR TO THAT OF A GUN BECAUSE IT PREVENTED THE VICTIMS FROM FEELING SAFE ENOUGH TO RUN AWAY.  THIS WEAPON WAS SIGNIFICANT IN THAT SENSE, ALONG WITH THE SHOCK OF THE FIRST FAMILY KILL.  THE PROCEEDING KILL WAS ALSO A SHOCK AND NOTHING SHORT OF JAW DROPPING...JUST SAYING.  

THE MOST ARTISTIC MOMENTS IN THE MOVIE I FOUND RESTED IN THE CAMERA ANGLES.  SOME OF THE DIALOGUE SCENES WERE UNMISTAKABLY SO CLOSE TO THE CHARACTER'S FACES.  I LITERALLY COULD COUNT NOSE HAIRS AND PORES.  I NOTICED THIS IMMEDIATELY, AND KEPT IT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FILM UNTIL I REALIZED WHAT IT MEANT.  IN MY OPINION, IT WAS FORESHADOWING THE VIEWER TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE ONE OF THEM IS DIRTY.  

ULTIMATELY, I LOVED THIS MOVIE AND I'M GOING TO TELL THE WORLD!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT WOULD BE EASIER TO TELL THE WORLD IF I COULD FIND A MASK!  TIRED OF SEARCHING THE WEB AND HALLOWEEN STORES (IT IS A FUCKING PLASTIC ANIMAL MASK I AM SPEAKING OF), I DROVE ALL THE WAY TO MARYLAND FOR THE MONSTER MANIA HORROR CONVENTION IN THE HOPES OF FINDING ONE... AND TO MEET MICHAEL MADSEN OF COURSE.  APPARENTLY THEY WERE GIVEN OUT FOR FREE AT THE CHERRY HILL CONVENTION WHICH I ATTENDED BUT WAS OBVIOUSLY TOO LATE.  L.C. HOLT, THE MAIN KILLER IN THE FLICK, COULDN'T EVEN TELL ME WHERE TO BUY ONE.  I'VE EXTENDED MY SEARCH AND REACHED OUT TO LIONSGATE SO WISH ME LUCK!!!  ALSO, DOWNLOAD THE FREE HORROR MOVIE MAKER APP-YOU'RE NEXT EDITION!  

WHAT'S THE SCARIEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD?!

So who is it?  Who's mask makes your blood run cold?  Who's theme music forces tingles down your spine?  Who's bloodcurdling voice keeps you up at night?  

Although there are so many different types of horror, I think everyone's beliefs influence what really scares them.  I personally find that my weakness lies in any situation that can happen in real life.  Everyone's interpretation of realistic horror differs, but I think we all can agree that a "Saw" killer or even a Kevin Spacey character from Se7en can physically kidnap and kill you at any second in any place.  But how does everyone feel about The Forth Kind or any of 484,739 movies about exorcisms?  Just because it doesn't scare me on my television doesn't mean I am certain of its incapability of really happening.  

So I am curious...I want to know what scares YOU!  

THE PURGE (SPOILER EDITION)

Although I think this movie rocked, I do think some things could have been better.  If you have ever read any of my blogs you should know what I think about the first ten minutes of horror movies.  Somebody has to get bloody and die!  After all, it is why people watch these kinds of films.  The introduction was okay, but instead of showing surveillance footage of beatings, I think the movie should have opened up with a flashback from last year's purge.  A girl is running late while coming home from work.  She steps inside her home a few minutes into the twelve hour purge session and takes a breath of relief.  All of a sudden...BOOM!  Masked people attack and the scene cuts and flashes back to the present day where Ethan Hawke's character is driving home.  I feel this would have added immediate tension and suspense to the story.  

As I said in my previous blog, the ending was slightly predictable with the homeless victim helping the family in the end.  I personally thought the mother should have been killed, leaving the children, with the help of the homeless victim, to fully participate and indulge in what the purge is all about.  I really thought the little boy was going to live up to his creepy presence and kill someone, but I was let down.  I feel that it would be ironic for the kids to be the murdering heros and protectors in the end because they, like most of the people in the audience, admit they have too big of a heart to perform such things, but I believe when you and your family's lives are at stake your capabilities will surprise you.  I also was not impressed when the mother let her neighbors keep their lives.  I mean, is that going to be awkward for them tomorrow?

The leader of the purge gang is played by Rhys Wakefield.  I really admired his performance.  I thought his attitude and personality were sinister.  He portrayed a realistic and emotionless sociopath.  His odd balance of politeness twisted with his evil were effective on screen.  He had "the look" in his eyes, and a smile that can make your spine tingle.  

I really dug the whole story line with the daughter's boyfriend.  I was expecting him to contribute to the family's night of horror, however, I was not expecting him to shoot and die so quickly and at the same time the brother was letting a stranger into their home.  The suspense was overwhelming!  I also liked how the neighbors came into play.  I liked how I was thrown off with their random, heroic acts, only to be later blinded by their evil.  It's just a shame more people didn't die in the film.  (Although I did like that face smash by the mom in the end!)

Oh, and by the way...can anyone tell me who the masked girl was?  After Ethan Hawke's character kills her and takes off her mask, the camera studies her face too long to be an accident.  Unfortunately, I did not recognize her, but I have a feeling it must be his secretary who he speaks with on the way home from work in the beginning of the movie.  If my memory is correct, she is the only female in the story aside from the main characters and neighbors.  Let me know if you caught that!

THE PURGE (NO SPOILERS!)

2013
DIRECTOR:  JAMES DEMONACO
WRITER:  JAMES DEMONACO
STARRING:  ETHAN HAWKE, LENA HEADEY, MAX BURKHOLDER, ADELAIDE KANE, AND RHYS WAKEFIELD

It's way better than I expected!  After all, it's not my movie ideas that are bombing and causing everyone to see past the scary previews and into the soul of the shitty plots of recent movies.  Well, I am happy to say that this film lived up to its expectations plus more!

Since I have been urging people to see this, I will not spoil a single thing for you;)  In return, I ask that after you watch it, read my second blog where I discuss specifics about the film.  

This movie had everyone jumping in their seats from the moment they walked in until the credits began to roll.  I have to admit, this is one of the most suspenseful movies I have ever laid eyes on.  It certainly helped that the volume was BLASTING in AMC last night.  

Twists and turns slice through the plot when you're least expecting it, and the problems that arise are overwhelming at times!  The ending is a little predictable, but it really is not that relevant in the overall story.  The plot is so intense that it didn't really matter how it ended.  Oddly enough, I feel like the plot did not make or break this film because it is an original and unique movie.  

ENJOY!

MEGAN IS MISSING

2011
DIRECTOR:  MICHAEL GOI
WRITER:  MICHAEL GOI
STARRING:  RACHEL QUINN AND AMBER PERKINS

I stumbled across this film on Netflix while browsing for a horror flick I haven't seen yet.  I put this on by fluke, and immediately realized it wasn't what I had initially expected.  For some odd reason I was intrigued.  I only had time to watch the first half, but my curiosity pushed me to finish it at a later sitting.  My life is somewhat altered as a result.  

I am still pondering if I find this recommendable or not.  It somewhat reminds me of Kids from 1995 because its raw and disturbing scenes make it hard to watch, however, the message is so powerful I'm thankful I did.  I absolutely suggest educating yourself about this movie prior to viewing it, which is why this will prepare you with the bulletproof vest full of spoilers!

Before watching the second half of this, I logged in to the handy IMDB where the real horror was exposed.  If i didn't cheat with IMDB and Google, I think I would have been even more damaged from a particular image.  An image I could not even stomach saving to my computer to post on this blog.  Typically I search for the most shocking pictures on the internet for this blog, but not this time.  It's far too sensitive and serious to justify any mockery.  

WARNING!  You will need a shower after reading this...

Megan is Missing features two girls in their early teens who are tortured, raped, and murdered shortly after being abducted by an internet predator.  It is filmed with a hand held camera, giving it that realistic touch that documentaries do.  Similar to The Blair Witch Project, it keeps you wondering if this really happened or not.  While reading up on this, I learned that it is not completely true, however, it is based on a combination of several similar, true events.  According to some viewer's reviews, I believe a strikingly similar story, including the blue bin and all, did occur in Portland, Oregon in 2002.  

The two best friends get kidnapped separately, resulting in the first half of the movie revolving around their backgrounds and then all the questions and possibilities about the first girl going missing.  The second half of the film is heart wrenching, as the viewer gets a front row seat to the torture the second girl endures.  The "last 22 minutes" are unforgettable in the sense that we helplessly watch a child get molested prior to being buried alive in the same blue bin holding the bloody corpse of her best friend who was confined in a disturbingly demented sexual contraption before her death.  

Contrary to much negative feedback I've read from the public, I have so many things to address and highlight.  Even though I will NEVER watch this a second time, I have to say the shock value is touching enough to scare kids straight, or update their mindset and awareness of what monstrosity the internet can hold.  Sometimes seeing the horror, as opposed to reading or hearing about it, reminds us that nobody, including children, is invincible and these things can happen to anyone at any second.  

I can't pay enough compliments to Michael Goi, the writer and director of this film.  Although the idea is based on true events, the way he told the story was unique and abstract.  Although some scenes were long and drawn out, I feel like the feeling of the message was successfully delivered as a result of this.  I don't know where he came up with some of these scenes, and more importantly, who the fuck constructed that torture chamber thing, but the message was certainly delivered.  

Rachel Quinn is the actress who plays the girl in the "trap", and I cannot credit her enough.  Props to her for being able to participate in this film because I do not think just anyone can brush off that feeling of humiliation with a simple director's "cut" call.  I also am curious how long it took to strap that thing on her.  Clearly I am still scarred.  

I found the predator to be realistic and practical.  His voice was soothing, and his story was frighteningly believable.  People can sit here all day and claim they would never be that trusting and stupid, however, children are vulnerable and unaware of the reality of danger that exists in the world today.  

In conclusion, I feel this movie is worth your time as long as you know what to expect when you watch it.  If you are looking for something similar to Saw or Se7en, keep browsing because this may be disappointing, misconstrued, and underrated if it is advertised towards an inappropriate target audience and misplaced in the wrong genre.