YOU'RE NEXT

2011
DIRECTOR:  ADAM WINGARD
WRITER:  SIMON BARRETT
STARRING:  SHARNI VINSON, JOE SWANBERG, AJ BOWEN, NICHOLAS TUCCI, AND BARBARA CRAMPTON

I THINK I HAVE MY UPCOMING HALLOWEEN COSTUME NARROWED DOWN...SHOULD I BE THE LAMB, THE TIGER, OR THE FOX?

IT IS CLEAR TO ME THAT WINGARD AND BARRETT ARE NOT JUST A DIRECTOR AND A WRITER, BUT THEY ARE SIMPLY ARTISTS.  THIS DUO AESTHETICALLY SPLATTERED THE BLOOD WHILE TELLING A HORRIFIC, YET REALISTIC TALE.  

IT STARTED WITH A CLIMAXING BOOM...LITERALLY.  THE BEST WAY TO REEL IN THE AUDIENCE IS TO DISTRACT THEM WITH SOME BOOBIES RIGHT BEFORE SCARING THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.  MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS BEING FORCED TO WAIT MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES TO SEE THE FIRST TRACE OF BLOOD IN A HORROR MOVIE.  THIS OPENING WAS THIRST QUENCHING TO SAY THE LEAST.  

EVERY KILL SCENE WAS UNIQUE AND HAD ME JUMPING OUT OF MY SEAT.  I DUG THE CHOICE OF WEAPONS, ESPECIALLY THE BOW AND ARROW.  IT ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BUY ONE PROBABLY BECAUSE I ALREADY OWN A MACHETE AND AN AXE.  I FEEL LIKE THIS WEAPON CREATED FEAR SIMILAR TO THAT OF A GUN BECAUSE IT PREVENTED THE VICTIMS FROM FEELING SAFE ENOUGH TO RUN AWAY.  THIS WEAPON WAS SIGNIFICANT IN THAT SENSE, ALONG WITH THE SHOCK OF THE FIRST FAMILY KILL.  THE PROCEEDING KILL WAS ALSO A SHOCK AND NOTHING SHORT OF JAW DROPPING...JUST SAYING.  

THE MOST ARTISTIC MOMENTS IN THE MOVIE I FOUND RESTED IN THE CAMERA ANGLES.  SOME OF THE DIALOGUE SCENES WERE UNMISTAKABLY SO CLOSE TO THE CHARACTER'S FACES.  I LITERALLY COULD COUNT NOSE HAIRS AND PORES.  I NOTICED THIS IMMEDIATELY, AND KEPT IT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FILM UNTIL I REALIZED WHAT IT MEANT.  IN MY OPINION, IT WAS FORESHADOWING THE VIEWER TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE ONE OF THEM IS DIRTY.  

ULTIMATELY, I LOVED THIS MOVIE AND I'M GOING TO TELL THE WORLD!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT WOULD BE EASIER TO TELL THE WORLD IF I COULD FIND A MASK!  TIRED OF SEARCHING THE WEB AND HALLOWEEN STORES (IT IS A FUCKING PLASTIC ANIMAL MASK I AM SPEAKING OF), I DROVE ALL THE WAY TO MARYLAND FOR THE MONSTER MANIA HORROR CONVENTION IN THE HOPES OF FINDING ONE... AND TO MEET MICHAEL MADSEN OF COURSE.  APPARENTLY THEY WERE GIVEN OUT FOR FREE AT THE CHERRY HILL CONVENTION WHICH I ATTENDED BUT WAS OBVIOUSLY TOO LATE.  L.C. HOLT, THE MAIN KILLER IN THE FLICK, COULDN'T EVEN TELL ME WHERE TO BUY ONE.  I'VE EXTENDED MY SEARCH AND REACHED OUT TO LIONSGATE SO WISH ME LUCK!!!  ALSO, DOWNLOAD THE FREE HORROR MOVIE MAKER APP-YOU'RE NEXT EDITION!