2007
DIRECTOR: DAVE MEYERS
WRITERS: ERIC RED (also screenwriter for the 1986 original film), JAKE WADE WALL, AND ERIC BERNT
STARRING: SEAN BEAN, SOPHIA BUSH, AND ZACHARY KNIGHTON
It was love at first sight with this movie. Initially I thought, finally the lead female role is played by a hot brunette. Then I met "the hitcher" and was terrified and fascinated all at the same time.
I recently watched the original, and must admit it was good considering its age. As big of a horror fan as I am, I still find great difficulty in watching older flicks because it's hard to place yourself in the character's shoes and get the shit scared out of you. Our generation is spoiled with special effects and modernized technologies to call for help with.
What I really like about this movie are the characters. Ironically, I feel like horror movies contain the least amount of character development Nobody watches a scary film to learn about the characters' past because we want to see blood. RIGHT NOW. Although we don't know much about the main characters in this movie, their actions and mannerisms tell us their story. I still want to stress how rare this is for this genre.
Sean Bean plays "the hitcher" and he is fucking scary. Personally, I think he makes the movie. His relentless violence, yet calmness are brilliant and makes me route for him in the end! Pretty much, I feel like his character naturally portrays a real life serial killer.
Sophia Bush plays the lead female role who finds herself running in circles in this sociopath's game of control. I actually like her and not just because she's beautiful. I think she's tough without being obnoxious and butched out, and she's easily likable as a result of her common sense. Her boyfriend on the other hand, is a pussy. I actually think his character is intentionally portrayed as the soft spoken, unaggressive type because that's the vulnerability "the hitcher" sniffed out when he targeted them. It is humorous when the boyfriend is called out on this.
There is one scene in this film that stretches my eyes open wide while my arm hair stands up like an ovation. Near the end there is a car chase scene where the police are trying to capture the boyfriend and girlfriend. Just when it seems like the couple is about to surrender to the shooting police cars and helicopter, that adrenaline rushing Nine Inch Nails song "Closer to God" starts playing. "The Hitcher" catches up to the commotion and takes every last fucking siren out. I am not a sucker for action scenes, but I can't help but to admire how bad ass this killer is!
1996
DIRECTOR: BRIAN GIBSON
WRITERS: GEORGE DAWES GREEN (NOVEL) AND TED TALLY (SCREENPLAY)
STARRING: DEMI MOORE, ALEC BALDWIN, ANNE HECHE, AND JAMES GANDOLFINI
Look out for the 90's classics! I love the nineties, and to be blunt, I fucking love this movie. I will make this blog short and sweet to avoid any spoilers.
Alec Baldwin's character is in connection with the mob. He targets Demi Moore's character, who is a juror in a mafia boss' murder case, and scares her into not only voting not guilty, but also convincing the rest of the jurors to do the same. Considering the mafia boss is clearly guilty of murdering a child nonetheless, this is a difficult task to accomplish. But nothing is impossible when your child's safety is threatened.
The Baldwins are so cool. Alec masters every link to fooling everyone with his spineless charm, looks, and intimidation techniques. He's cool with those dangerously evil pupils that live in serial killers' eyes. He's the type of character I route for in the end even though it collides with the typical happy ending. I dig it!
I just really enjoy how creepily realistic this film is. The whole idea of randomly being picked and preyed upon to do something so cruel and against all morals is friggin' terrifying. It's bone chilling to think what I can be capable of when my most loved one's life is on the line. I feel like most people, including myself, would do whatever it takes to keep them safe.
There's a few unexpected twists and turns, but the practicality of the story line remains constant throughout the end. Definitely a great Netflix choice!
2012
DIRECTOR: MARK TONDERAI
WRITERS: DAVE LOUCKA (SCREENPLAY) AND JONATHAN MOSTOW (STORY)
STARRING: JENNIFER LAWRENCE, ELISABETH SHUE, MAX THIERIOT, AND EVA LINK
I bet if the title of this contained just an ounce of thought twisted with some creativity, it would be drenched with positive reviews. I almost decided against contributing another five dollars to the Pay Per View bank, but the trailer pushed me otherwise. Good thing because there is a better chance of me using my DVDs as hockey pucks than paying to watch a PG-13 horror movie. That kind of rating means no boobs, no sex scenes, and minimal blood and violence. Uhh, these are probably the sole seasons why this genre puts bodies in the movie theater seats.
The movie is about a mother and daughter who move into a new home that is located near a house with a horrifying past. A few years earlier, a young girl murdered her parents and was never seen again. Some people assume she drowned trying to run away, but others insist she lives in the woods nearby. And obviously and thankfully for the sake of our attention deficit disorders, shit goes haywire.
I love how creepy the murdering girl is, but don't get mislead and picture a disturbingly deformed face. The bone chilling feeling that overcomes your body is a result of seeing eyes made of pure evil. In all seriousness, I'd rather see Jason from Friday the 13th running at me with a machete than this bitch.
The best parts of this film are the beginning and the end. If it's been more than fifteen minutes in a horror movie and nobody died yet something is very wrong. Blood and death must be introduced immediately! This was successfully portrayed, and better yet, the ending was a true shocker. Mystery killers can always be suspected, but the twist in this movie that I'm referring to is an unseen slant in the plot. It's difficult to explain without spoiling the egg, but trust me when I say it makes you look at some characters differently and shift your sympathy in an opposing manner.
Even though there was not much blood to rave about, or boobs for that matter, the movie makes sense, flows well, and scares the shit of you a few times. Finally, I would like to address something that is quite rare in this genre. The main character who plays the new daughter in town is not a bimbo like all the stereotypes make you believe. She's doesn't even have that passive and vulnerable personality as most girls in her role do. I thought this was a cool touch because you never really find yourself disagreeing with her actions. In other words, this bitch never runs past the front door and up the stairs to escape a killer.
2012
DIRECTOR: JOHN LUESSENHOP
WRITERS: ADAM MARCUS, DEBRA SULLIVAN, AND KRISTEN ELMS (SCREENPLAY). STEPHEN SUSCO, ADAM MARCUS, AND DEBRA SULLIVAN (STORY). KIM HENKEL AND TOBE HOOPER (CHARACTERS).
STARRING: ALEXANDRA DADDARIO, TANIA RAYMONDE, AND SCOTT EASTWOOD
Leatherface is back and is surprisingly cooler than ever! I saw this movie the weekend it came out...I strategically missed every single preview as a result of watching a lesbian lovers quarrel take place in the parking. From this moment on I knew this movie date was an instant win!
I can't honestly say that I've watched the original film, although I'm 99% sure it resides in my DVD collection. I was never a fan of the sequels that came out, with the exception of the 2003 remake that starred Jessica Biel. This most modernized version held its own little slice of originality. Oh, and let's pretend this movie isn't in 3D because my loathe for wearing those instant migraine, sorry excuse for glasses is long enough for its own blog site.
Pretty much, it started out with the main character finding out she's adopted and is a cousin of Jed, better known as Leatherface. She inherits the estate where her grandmother lived after being one of the two sole survivors of a fire the town people set on their original home. Obviously, the big-tittied main character missed the memo that Leatherface was the second survivor.
Eventually the house turns into a bloody clusterfuck with dead bodies everywhere, but if this didn't happen, many people including myself would have left the theater without their psychotic thirst for blood quenched. More importantly and significantly, there are a few aesthetics I mentally noted!
I say this in every blog...I love flashbacks and they were scattered throughout the movie. When the title came on screen in the beginning it flew through the theater as all 3D titles do, but this one was more like slices rather than an explosion. This foreshadowing told me there would be a significant slice in the movie. As expected there were many chainsaw slices that took place, however, there was one scene in the end that I feel was crucial.
In the beginning, while the main characters were driving to the estate, they passed roadkill. The camera paused on this roadkill for enough seconds to make me think it must mean something. I won't be able to figure it out until I buy the DVD where I have the ability to pause, but something tells me it was more than just a couple of dead possums or whatever they were. Perhaps the fact that there were two animal bodies foreshadowed that a second survivor came out of the fire, which would be Leatherface. Or maybe the roadkill are animals that are known for being really family oriented...this would make sense because of the little twist in the end where Leatherface actually has a conscience. Orrr maybe I'm thinking too much into this...
Sorry to spoil the end, but I have to say it...I loved how Leatherface didn't kill his cousin. I totally dig this for two reasons. One is this never happens. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers never purposely left a survivor. The second reason I like this is because it is realistic that a serial killer did not look at his family as their next victims. I never heard that Ted Bundy killed any of his family members...or Dexter for that matter haha.
I did enjoy this movie, however, I wish there were more unique killing scenes. I loved how a victim was hiding in a quiet coffin only for the silence to be shattered by the chainsaw coming through the wood! There should have been more of these scenes! In the beginning, the main characters pick up a hitch hiker that obviously led to more trouble for them, but what the fuck was the relevance of this? I think that whole concept should have been chopped in the first draft. Those minutes would have been much better spent on more in depth and bloodier torture scenes!
I feel like this movie got terrible reviews and is said to be predictable, but seriously, what else is supposed to happen in a Texas Chainsaw remake that isn't expected? I thought the unique touches were coo; and it was a scary success!
WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?
2011
DIRECTOR: Mark Mylod
WRITER: Gabrielle Allan and Jennifer Crittenden (screenplay)
Karyn Bosnak (novel "20 Times A Lady")
STARRING: Anna Faris, Chris Evans, and Ari Graynor
Dear IMDB, I love you, but fuck you and your weak 5.7 rating on this movie. This movie was so funny, I will probably watch it over and over again and still laugh once I get my hands on this DVD.
Jess and I watched this the other day, and I finally found a movie that was worth the five bucks added on to my Comcast bill. We loved it and laughed our asses off the entire time. I must admit, I am biased and certainly do LOVE Anna Faris and everything she is in, but this is clearly a result of her being the funniest bitch on screen these days. I do believe in real life my charm would twirl her into my arms and onto to my couch strictly to smoke up a silly conversation;) Her Sagittarius personalty would be manipulated by my Aquarian awesomeness...enough said...
Anyway, this movie is centered on that little, heart curdling question that comes up during "truth or dare" and the infamous "never have I ever" drunk sessions with your friends. Yup...the unavoidable, "So how many people have you slept with?" Well this movie, unlike the author of this blog, claims that ten is the average. Have no fear, friends of mine, I truly believe that this number is just another fucking digit on the numerical scale. Personally, I believe this number is different for everyone because finding your soul mate is a hard task to accomplish, primarily as a result of it being out of our hands. The harsh names "slut" and "ho" are not designed to categorize people's numbers, but it should remain in that safe box to label those who sleep with your significant other!
Ultimately, the movie is cute and I possibly shed some tears thanks to my menstrual cycle. Check it out...
I just watched a biographical documentary that went behind the scenes of John Carpenter's 1978 Halloween. It interviewed numerous people who participated in the making of this horror classic, and filled the viewer in on the reality of the actual innovation that lies behind the creation of "Michael Myers" and the infamous Halloween series.
I fucking love John Carpenter and cannot stress the extent of how these two hours just sparked my ambition and passion for horror filmmaking. This shit spoke to me today. With this said, I was influenced to write this blog and spread the awareness on the amazing originality of this film and Carpenter.
I learned today that no blood or gore was ever seen in this original, 1978 version, not to be confused with Rob Zombie's 2007 remake. Are you shitting me? This makes me want to watch it again just to confirm this theory is indeed not fabricated. Apparently the music, sound effects, and physical movement were enough to fool everyone including myself. I can't even imagine being terrified of a film that doesn't screen blood painted walls or vomit inducing injuries. This alone is impressive.
The secret behind the mask was pure luck mixed with talent. Carpenter hunted for a plain, rubber concealment as a base to trigger his vision, and ultimately chose the mask of a Star Trek character. White paint smothered the mild facial modifications and hair alterations were established, creating the spine tingling face of "Michael Myers". Yes, it's currently the lock screen on my i phone:)
Carpenter accepted this challenge in filmmaking primarily for the work aspect of it. Considering his absence of fondness for the horror genre, he pretty much looked at this as another piece of experience to intertwine into his film reel. He was considered a newbie in the industry during this production and was only thirty years old! What inspiration...and relief for a quarter life crisis victim like myself!
The cast was loaded with fresh meat. There was a time when the name Jamie Lee Curtis was unheard of, and this was it. The actual "Michael" was played by the completely inexperienced Nick Castle. Ironically, his "victims" portray him to be a light hearted goofball. PJ Soles, the "boobie shot" girl, laughed as she recalled the production. She highlighted Castle for being considerate and concerned with her safety during her fatal strangulation scene. She even confessed that the sight of "The Shape" always makes her laugh because she is reminded that it is Nick Castle.
Above all, every single person who contributed to this burst of horror aesthetic worked their asses off, but absolutely cherished every moment of it. If you catch this story on the Biography channel, totally check it out! I'm sure it will be obnoxiously replayed for the rest of the month. I'm also pretty sure I napped today and dreamed that John Carpenter is going to be at the next Monster Mania Convention. My fingers are crossed...
2008
Director: Gideon Raff
Writer: Gideon Raff
Starring: Thora Birch, Gideon Emery, Kavan Reece, and Gloria Votsis
I woke up today with fresh October air gushing into my nose, which reminded me that Halloween is on its way!
My eyes scanned my DVDs, searching for a horror movie I have never seen before. When I came across Train, I remembered picking it up off a Blockbuster shelf. If Thora Birch is in it, I need it.
In order to find a good horror film, I have to sift through endless shitty ones. I crossed my fingers and put the DVD in.
I bit into my lunch as I pushed play. The credits floated around the screen while a man was cut from head to toe right before his skin was ripped off. The squirts of mustard in my mouth never felt so grotesque.
In all seriousness, the film was fucking gory. If you have a stomach of steel, you will agree with me when I say I totally dig it even with its overindulgence of blood.
The plot centers on a group of Americans who miss their train to a European wrestling match. They board another train with the influence of a stranger's recommendation. And ten minutes later the screen is bludgeoned with thousands of dollars worth of corn syrup, or fake blood if you will.
I really appreciate how the movie actually made sense! Holy shit, a horror movie with a realistic plot! It may be fucked up, but it sure can happen in real life. It's another reason why I don't visit foreign countries to say the least.
I totally recommend this to those who seek a good pre-Halloween scare. My love, Thora Birch is a fucking rockstar in this flick! I'm sure you recognize her from Hocus Pocus. Well little "Dani" is all grown up now and is a badass chick during this ride.
